How To Decide To Be Happy And Let Go Of Doing The Same Thing You've Always Done

old addage, do the same thing, get the same result is SOOO true.  but, i used to be a happy person doing these things.  and somewhere along the way i started being insecure and unsure about what happiness is - or how to be content.  life gets in the way.  now i'm trying to remind myself to start today as the first day of the rest of my life and to look at this day today as bright and cheerful and full of optimism - even though all else in my world is pulling me down.  still, i dont' trust that voice that is telling me that - so do I really mean what I say?  again, old habits die hard....

hiyaa2010 hiyaa2010
31-35
2 Responses Feb 25, 2010

graycloud-<br />
<br />
You reach a point where no matter what good thing could possible happen, you put a smile on but you can literally feel a hole the hole in your heart. It's like a virus that strikes you. And once you get to this point, you will realize that you need help. And you will find the brave nerve to call or talk to someone and say, "i need help" <br />
<br />
I felt so true to myself when I said those wise words to my dad. Although I said them at 6 am, I felt so relieved. I felt so brave and my white flag of unhappiness went up. It felt great.<br />
<br />
I hope that you too will be able to look at your username and think to yourself, pff..what graycloud?<br />
<br />
You'll feel great :)

I was never trully happy.<br />
<br />
I was only happy when something good happened,<br />
something good will happen,<br />
or when something good is happening.<br />
<br />
and because their is a "because",<br />
I'm not happy in between.<br />
<br />
I was never happy, just because.<br />
I have so many insecure and uncertainty issues that clog me up.<br />
<br />
Hmm.