Betrayed Love

You were the first person I learnt to trust while growing up.I always felt you were there for me and when ever I fell down you would pick me up and comfort me.There was never a time I doubted your love and although you had little to give in material you made up for that in love.My fondest memory was sitting in your lap and feeling so safe and secure and knowing you were there to protect me.I put my complete trust in you.There was god in the sky but you were my god on earth,I worshipped you and felt that there was nothing in this world that could break this bond between us.

I will never forget the day I was taken away from you.Even now the feeling shakes me to the core of my soul.I begged and cryed to be reunited with you but my tears and pleas had little effect  and I was doomed to accept my fate.The only thing that kept me going was the thought of seeing you again and being held close in your arms.Your love meant the world to me.I would cry myself to sleep dreaming you were next to me wiping my tears and offering words of comfort.My child hood passed and faded away but my dream of seeing you again never faded.Maybe it was all I had to hold on too.

You will never understand the sacrifices I had to make to see you again or the pain and anguish that was caused during my time away from you.I wanted to put every thing behind me and for things to go back to the way they were.When I met you for the first time after ten years you did not run to put your arms around me or attempt to hold me.You looked past me as if I was a stranger.It was then I realised your love for me had died and no matter how hard I tryed I could not get you to love me.There were times when I wanted to scream and question what I had done wrong for you to treat me so,but deep down I knew I had done nothing wrong.

There has been many a time I have fallen over in life and have had to accept you will not be there to pick me up.It has taken me a long time and countless sessions of therapy to come to terms with my past and find it in me to forgive you.In a way I still love you but I know you can never love me the way I want you too.Funny thing is I cant hate you even though I have tried.So i accept you for who you are and respect the love no matter how little you give me.As life is to short for bitterness
fairy fairy
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 11, 2010

i feel like dat sometimes too towards my mom...