I Finally Left And Have No Regrets!

Like so many people out there, I lived in a sexless marriage for years. Really, the last 4 were the worst. I stayed for a variety of reasons and all of them were bad. I tried therapy on two separate occasions. He just blamed everything on me and didn't even care to try. I craved physical attention, I craved passion, let's face it kids I craved sex!! Finally, I just had enough. I have been separated for many months now. The house is sold and the divorce paperwork is ready to be filled!

I am dating again which is something I haven't done in over 10 years. I have no doubt that I will meet someone and find all of the things I have been missing for years. I have learned that my sexless marriage I contributed to. I wanted to be able to point the finger completely at him but, I now know that part of what happened is my fault. In the end we grew apart and it just didn't work out. I guess I would say for me, to really be able to move forward I had to take my share of the blame and accept that. I am happier now than I have been in years. I hope others who find their way out of these marriages will post on here so that maybe we can help others to find the courage to leave!

I know over the years of going through this, I was on here pretty often hoping to get some perspective.
cablegirl01 cablegirl01
36-40, F
5 Responses Apr 29, 2011

Can I ask how old you were when you left, if you had kids, and how you and your ex are both doing today? I'm in a SLM and am in therapy to gain perspective and am considering leaving, even though I have 2 kids involved. I realize, just like you did, that I share some of blame in all of this. But now, I feel it is just too late. I see your original post was in 2011. How are you today?

Great post! Been there, done that. I left my SLM a year ago and felt much happier now with a new relationship. Absolutely the best decision of my life. I hope you're also enjoying the new chapter in your life. We all deserve to be loved and appreciated.<br />
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It seems we are among the very few people on this forum who actually made the decision to leave the SLM. I admit it's not an easy one but the risk is worth taking. Just wonder why thousands of people out there in SLM would just rather choose to suffer than to take risk. Life is just too short to be wasted in pain and sorrow.

I hope everything is ccontinuing to go well..it is not an easy choice to leave,,,and so I commend you for your courage and determination to have a better life..

What a great post!! Thank you! I am in the throws of the upseting part of the phase. Not separated or divorced just sitting in a pile of stinking ****!!! I am thankful to hear positive words. I dont think I will regret it...in fact I feel good that movement has been made. But anytime there are kids involved it totally sucks. Gosh! I am drawing some strength from you right now! Keep us posted!

We both sailing in same boat dearie, except some minor points here or there...<br />
Well keep in touch more with me, I bet, you won't regret.... lol