The Grass Is GreenerHello my EP friends!
I remember when I was planning on leaving my SM, I wished that there were stories on here about life on the other side. I wanted to know if the grass was really on the other side. Well, it is not only greener, I can see all kinds of flowers.
Yesterday, I met up with some of those flowers, aka, EP friends in my area. There are definitely some budding friendships (pun intended) This was the third time and I think it is now a monthly thing. We usually meet for lunch and chit chat for a couple of hours. Yesterday we were the last people in the restaurant to leave. I think we all had a lovely time. During lunch one friend was talking about his situation when another said to him "man, you are ******". Another friend said "****** is exactly was he is not". That moment was priceless! I had not laughed so hard in a long time.
Anyways, back to my story. It has been almost 5 months since I left and I have no regrets. I know I did the right thing. Walking away from the man I loved was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever had to do. But I did it. Looking back, I can see that it took tremendous strength. I guess that means that I am a strong woman. I am so proud of myself.
I often wonder if I would ever love again. If what I want really exists. If a man would love me for who I really am. If the day would come when I would not feel so much like damaged goods. But my good friend Chai, says, "it exists, you will see". So I wait with great anticipation
So after years of rejection, neglect and emotional abuse, I now feel hopeful, happy and excited. I dont feel the latter all day, everyday, but I certainly no longer feel rejected, neglected and abused.
I look forward to loving and being love again.
Yes,in my opinion, the grass is greener on the other side and one day in spring I am hoping to pick some flowers.
newdawn07 41-45, F 4 Responses 4 Feb 26, 2012