I Left My Husband, But Still Love Both Men.I've been with my husband for 2 years, married for 1. We married on our 1 year anniversary. It did seem pretty soon, but we loved each other, and really, saw no reason not to marry. My husband and I get along great - no abuse whatsoever, he's not controlling... really, he's perfect. I wasn't unhappy being with him.
I met this guy at work. I had been there for 4 years, so when he started, I was voted to train him. We immediately hit it off. It wasn't that I wanted him though - more like, I knew if I weren't married, I would go for him. I was honestly content just to be close friends, and so was he. This went on for almost a year. I would hang out with him, both at his place and with mutual friends. No one thought it was too weird. Nothing more than talking ever went on. But, understandably, this started to bother my husband. I knew he would get jealous; how could he not? I'm spending time with another man. We discussed it, and he finally asked me not to see the other guy anymore. He was hesitant to ask this of me, because he did trust me, and he'd never asked something like that of me before. I was hurt, but I love him, so I agreed.
Everything was good for a few weeks. The other guy understood, and he respected my decision. But I just couldn't not see him. This is where things started to go downhill. We began meeting in secret. Still nothing more than talking going on. I absolutely refuse to have an affair. Then one day, my husband found out. He was furious, and told me I could leave. Rather than refuse, and talk things over, I left. I know he didn't mean it, but I was pretty mad too, being "caught" and all. I didn't do anything wrong! But he didn't know that.
So now, I've been living with the new guy for about 3 months now. We get along well, and truly love each other. I still talk to my husband, and he still wants me to come back. Now to where much of my guilt comes in. I've left my new guy twice now to try and work things out with my husband. Both times, I leave and go running back to my new man. The thing is, they're both so ******* understanding! Who allows their wife/girlfriend to leave them multiple times? I wish one of them would tell me no, they don't want me anymore. This is still ongoing. I really want to go back to my husband, but I'm afraid things won't work. I've already left him multiple times, but then again, I've left new guy a couple times too. What right do I have to put everyone through that again?