Miss The Spark

I left me husband 8 month after we married. I was traveling when we met and I was single for the first time. I had just left a relationship and was finally happy. Then I met my husband at a party and he wouldn't leave me alone. I eventually fel for him and we moved in together and I stopped traveling. That was the first mistake. He had nothing but a wack load of debt which I was about to get. He was never paying for anything and hated working and I stil married the guy thinking he'd grow up. I almost left before we married but decided to try it because I love him. Then the fighting started the drinking and wanting to party. I wanted a family and he wsnt ready for that eaither soni said ok lets wait. We grew so fr apart in just a few months like there was hatreed towards eachother. There was no sex, I could walk around naked and he wouldn't notice me. It seemed after we got married things went down hill. Even on our honeymoon he was so drunk we had a fight over something he thought i said and he threw stuff at me. I left and went down by the pool until he passed out. He really liked to drink a lot! It was getting out of hand. And I would then drink just so we would talk and do something together. All my friends moved away and my family was miles away too. I tried asking for help and advise but I knew it wouldn't change. I needed to leave. I left and drive across the country to live with my parents. Now three month have passed and I'm missing him like crazy. I don't want to but I feel I have forgotten all the pain and all I think about all day is calling him ad what I would say. I message him all the time to say hello and he doesn't want to talk to me which is understandable. Plus all those ppl so called friends hate me for leaving. I have never felt so empty and confused. I'm not sure how to get out of this slump without running back to something I hated. I'm crying all the time and he says he's fine and over it. How can I stop this pain and move on?
Lookingforhappiness2 Lookingforhappiness2
26-30
4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

How did this turn out? I see you posted this almost 3 years ago. Hopefully you are happy and without a drunk husband (ex or not).

The only way the pain will get better is once you have replaced him with someone who makes you happy.

it sounds as if your husband is and was an alcoholic. probably in the class of (functional alcoholic) my father was too. times where strained when he drank it only took him about
30 years and type 2 diabetes to stop drinking, I love my father but I couldnĀ“t say that till I was in my 40s
Do you wanna wait for him to become a person or do you wanna get on with your life?

Your situation definitely sounds horrible, and I feel bad for you. I completely acknowledge the loneliness, and it does take time until that begins to dissipate. Stay true to yourself, your goals..., and unfortunately always remember what life was like. Time smoothes the edges and makes you believe that it wasn't as bad as it was. Do not let yourself fall back into that pain. Allow yourself some time to heal. You will be much better for it.

If you wish to chat, holler at me.