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Ï Am In Love With My Femaie Boss

I have something really unusual happening to me.Unusual because it never occurred in the past.I am very much in love with my female boss.I always had crushed etc on men but this time its a woman.I am 42 and dont quite understand it.I am questioning my sexuality and what I really want.Am still single and at a point where I would like to share my life with someone but now am all confused if its a man or a woman that I want.I guess I am inhibited by what society dictates but am doing alot of visualisation...of what it could be to be with a woman and if I would like it.

I have started to have these feelings towards my boss since the summer and the feeling is mutual.

Its just a question of breaking the ice and seeing her outisde office.

I know she is interested based on the looks she has given to me including one inuendo..aksing if I have a boyfriend..testing the waters if you see what I mean and she looks at me the same way a man would..also blushes when I speak to her.

Am desperate and dont know what to do :(

She must be just as doubtfull not knowing what to do.

Has anyone every experienced anything like this before

 

 

Aviva123 Aviva123 41-45 6 Responses Dec 26, 2008

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There's nothing to lose to try it with her. No need to keep questioning yourself. You're so lucky that it's mutual so don't miss this chance. If it doesn't work, at least i helps you realize what you really want.

Start off by being playful with her. Ask her questions and probably ask her if she wants to hang out together next weekend.. :) Good luck!

Sounds like you're both unsure and a little nervous about possibly being rejected. You could try being playful with it and having happy hour with her. Then you can talk about how cluelss men are and how they don't understand women. Then see how well she picks up on that sort of conversation and go with it. Sugegst happy hour after work then ask how you should dress? Work clothes right after work or go home and change to something else? Then SHE can tell you how you should dress for her. Or vice versa if you think she'd like you giving her suggestions. Make it friendly and See what happens. Hope this helps, Keep in touch OK?
JackieSCToo @ aol

I feel for you and wonder where it has gone since your original post. I have the same dillemma right now with a boss that pretty much sounds the same. Im not sure if shes just bored or sexually repressed, I think she was a single mother all her life, anyhow, its not practicle for me so I will just let the fantasy ride in my mind until someone else comes along. If the ball was in my court and I had the chance, having an intimate encounter would be a lovely thing I feel.Maybe one day I will tell her,although I sense she already knows-that touchy, huggy, kissing stuff...mmmm. She shouldnt do it, I know, but mmmmm,...shes somethin'...i should ask her if she wishes to take it further!lol-shed probably laugh and I'd feel a fool. Im starting to lose sense though all giddy and all...i guess its love...its beautiful.

Hi again, just read your response. Wow, you sound like me! I came "out" at your age and 1st to my mom, she was just fine about it too. Very supportive. She and I lived together also for 16 years until she died a year ago last December, I am a nurse and was able to take care of her greatly in her last week. I miss her terribly...and still cry so often/week.



I was married once...dated men after that...but always felt attraction for women. My 1st attraction was to a boss...but she was a NUN...so there was NO GOING THERE at all. ~~smile~~ however, it was mutual, same touching, affection...very strong bond, but it never went anywhere beyond that. I hated the weekend seperation also...and even started working 6-7/days a week...just to be near her, even volunteered time after hours...just to be in her presence. It was awful. I finally quit after 2 years, she was a nun...it was a dead end situation.



I've dated 2 women since...both were a little off balance, but I loved being with them sexually. I am single again...not really looking at this time....but open to meeting if I do.



Follow your heart...it will not lead you in the wrong direction. If you get a good feeling...then it's right. If the feeling is bad or painful...then it's wrong.



Gigi

Thanks for your response.

I am definitely going to take your advice...but I have to admit that I am suffering terribely.Now I know why all those corny songs say that love hurts cuz it really does.

I cant help the way I feel those feeling are just there.I have have a very deep affection for this woman its not just emotional feelings but also sexual.There is a deep sexual attraction going on..and I know its mutual examples are to many to layout..touching my leg my shoulder signs of affection and of my boss having to hld back seems she is just as scared as I am partly because of the work enironment...also she might not be out yet...and I dont know what the hell I am...I havent figured it out yet...I know one thing though..ie that I have never felt like this about a woman..never.I thought being gay is something that happened to other people not to me and being gay would not be very welcomed in my familiy.The pressure of society is very difficult but being unhappy and miserable is even worse.I feel that life is so short and that we have to treasure the moments of happiness.

Love is love and I gave that alot of thought.It doesnt matter if its a man or a woman..being respected and loved is what matters.

I cant make out what I am...bisexual lesbian or just wanting an experience.Perhaps a deep affection has grown into something sexual I dont know if being lesbian is something you discover or something you become...am totally lost.

But my rational side says that I should leave it as a fantasy I mean it is my boss my superior we are talking about...so maby I should just leave the attraction for what it is....I need my job needless to say and am good at it..my rational side says to look online for women if that is what I am inclined to...there are many fish in the sea need be I could develop a friendship with this woman.

Then there is the other side that rules as well..the one that is less rational driven by desire and sex and passion wanting to kiss this woman and being her in an intimate way...ok it could be great and turn out to be this big amourous affair but it could be very awkward when coming to work.

I would have to change departments or something.She could help me with that..I dont know...but I am suffering alot I really am...we are human and not all of our actions are driven by logic...I feel scared to cuz am questioning my sexuality..I am 42 and dont want to end up alone...I want a life partner..I never really had a boyfriend...I lived for the longest time with my mom who unforutnatelly passed away last year..most of my experiences well loving experiences not lesbian were with women...perhaps someting in my past has made me into what I am today.

I am in love I do know that because I cant wait to go back to work on Monday I hate the weekends cuz it means being seperated from her.

I guess you call that love right...and it hurts...at least if it could be shared it could be beautifull but there are so many boundaries...I know she is lesbian ok you cant every be sure untill the person confirms it but am pretty intuitive and summed up all the things that make me think that..the touching the questions the looks... the glances....she looks at me the way I man would look.

I find the situation is getting worse for me ie...cuz I feel frustrated and alone...I dont get much support from anyong but there is one unanimous feedback I get from strangers and family and friends...ie the ball is in my court...and I might be playing with fire.I dont want to lose my job its a high price to pay for well eh sorry to say a piece of a&*(*ss...any comments welcome...

Hmm-mm, interesting...go for it, it's wonderful Except, Boss/employee relationships means treading into dangerous waters in the workplace. It usually ends badly...for the employee. Be prepard to find a new job when when/if the relationship ends or someone higher up gets wind of it. The the economy as it is...well, need I say more about job hunting right now?



Otherwise, with that in mind....invite her over for a drink, light dinner and just tell her how you feel.



I did that about 2 months ago with my boss...just had a few drinks, dinner at my place and told her. Turns out she wasn't a lesbian. It has strained our work relationship somewhat...but, at least I know and have moved on.



Nothing ventured...nothing gained...life is too short.



I became a lesbian at age 42, I'm 51 now. My experience with women has been in short, MOST are nuts...function on a hormonal or emotional level. Adding PMS and menopause to the mixture coupled with years of excess baggage...well, need I say more?



Good luck...post back as to what you decide. Whatever you decide...DON'T DECIDE. OK?



Gigi