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The Past Is The Past....that Is Why It Is Called A "past"

I have learned long ago to let go of my painful past, it tore me up for years.....went through lot of therapy, and finally broke the chains of it, it no longer controls me, I control it now.......
How ever, my sister is still locked up in yesterday. It has put a big wall between us, she punishes me because I have let go, her life is closed in, she is cold, she lives cautiously behind walls, misses out on the relationship we could have, she is bitter and mean, she is hurtful to me, especially when she drinks, the darkness in her comes out, and she tears into me, I shove it back and tell her to grow the hell up!!
The past is the past. I know it is hard to escape the pain of it, it will never leave us, but we can put it in a place where it can no longer hurt us the way it did, control our lives, destroy everything we go near, once you have that control, then it is all comes into play. Our past influences who we are, but we are responsible of who we become. Staying trapped in your past, the ones who make it bad, wins, escape it, control it and be free and happy, you win. It come to the point where you can remember your past, without it tering you apart, it will make you stronger, more aware, especially when it comes to relationships, what your going to put up with, what your not going to, what you will allow and what you will not, it just all comes together.
SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2010

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I'm glad you overcame the pain of the past.It takes some people longer but they shouldn't hinder you. I hope you and your sister will be patient with your respective journeys. My sister dealt with it all by avoiding it altogether. She got out young and stuffed her feelings. She raised a good family but is shallow and cold, unable to express or feel the deeper things. I felt everything and dealt with it in therapy. I'm deeper and can relate to many more people. I didn't raise children, but I still hope to adopt and share my depth and stregnght and faith with them. I hope they become able to feel everything and cope with it in healthy ways, to relate to all kinds of people and above all to be warm and kind-hearted. My sister is so cold. If I cry about anything she yells at me. She raised her sons to be completely unforgiving and materialistic. She comforted herself in the pursuit of money and creature comforts, symbols of weath. She eats filet mignon or lobster every night, but I would not want to be her. My husband and I have a warm, deep relationship. We share laughter and tears. We eat chili or corned beef hash or campbell's soup, but I feel we are richer.

wow...you guys sound so much like us...me and my sister....she is shallow and cold, feels nothing really, detattched, and yes the same, career, money, materialism...that is what makes you she says, and the same has tought her son the same as well...I felt it all as well, and went through many, many hard na dpainful years of therapy...her not a thing, she has it all stored up in her foolish head, when she is drunk, it comes out, she is so much like dad, gets bitter, mean and ignorant....
I am like a double edged sword, I can be very cold and disconnected when I am feeling threatened, or back in a corner, but yet I have a lot of compassion in my heart, and yes can totally relate with people as well, who come from different hard back grounds, can understand their pain....we have been through a lot, the post is just the surface of what we have beenthrough, so I can relate the same to most people as well, thatnk you for such a great response, I very much appreciate it :)