Doormat

It is ofcourse my own fault. I let people take advantage of my kindness. Even after it happens, and its usually done discreetly, I play the fool and pretend it never happened. Then it happens again. I suppose I could say that these people really arn't my friends... But there is always a story behind everything and they may simply be selfish. Although this may be a character flaw... we all have our own flaws... Being a doormat is definetly one :)  If they don't fault me for being a doormat I suppose in converse I can not fault them for being selfish... or atleast not throw it back in their face.
Xeno Xeno
26-30, M
5 Responses Jun 29, 2007

How can someone know we are a doormat if we don't tell them? I am trying to be more assertive, and while I haven't been practicing this long, I have noticed that I have more self-confidence when I stand up for myself. If I am careful to put an assertive statement in an "I" sentence rather than a "you" sentence, it is received even better. It works, and there are a lot of websites to help you learn how to be more assertive.

How can someone know we are a doormat if we don't tell them? I am trying to be more assertive, and while I haven't been practicing this long, I have noticed that I have more self-confidence when I stand up for myself. If I am careful to put an assertive statement in an "I" sentence rather than a "you" sentence, it is received even better. It works, and there are a lot of websites to help you learn how to be more assertive.

Sometimes people do nice things for th sake of being nice, like you. Or they might do nice things if they want something in return. I say, don't expect anything in return, as you seem to feel unappreciated. Just think about karma, what goes around comes around. Oneday if you need a favour, dont be afraid to ask.

That's a very interesting perspective, Holly - it is often that people just don't show the kindness back, and that really can be their character flaw. It is so dang hard to find people who would just be nice and do the same things back, but it's always the hope. It's so easy to think that everybody would be so nice back to us, but it's so unfortunate that they're not.

It's not your fault you're a doormat. The only thing that makes us doormats is when the other person doesn't reciprocate. So you're right, it's them, but how do you know when someone is going to be like that and take advantage? I guess we have to take chances and hope to only be a doormat once per person.