I'll take a shot at starting a conversation or saying hello but where it goes from there is up to you.  Looking back at all of my messages online (not just on EP) everything depends on the other person.  It may start out as small talk then develop into a deeper conversation.  As soon as the conversation goes back to small talk, that's it.  Long messages or responses get long replies from me.  Short messages get short replies.  Most of the time this is true.  Even in face-to-face conversations.  If you want to talk, I'll listen.  If you want to discuss, I'll participate.  It's like I wait to see what you're going to do or say before I make any moves.  Or it could be trust.  I don't know why, but yes, where the conversation goes is totally up to you. 

** This generally applies to someone I've just met.  Once I've known you for a while, I don't mind talking or taking the lead.  Maybe it's shyness or something bigger.
ChevyGirl ChevyGirl
18-21, F
10 Responses May 29, 2010

Actions are just as important as words. I know many who put on a mask and act totally different around certain people just to fit in... after awhile they always show their true colors.

you are right about that but don't forget actions speak more than words i believe in that apersone can fake all he want but when it comes to actions it tells u what that persone really are and their are some people who are smart enough to do somthing good for u to make u think they are friends then they stap u from behind i know such people

Being a mirror for the other person is part of being a good listener. It is important to listen first, see where they stand, and go from there. No assumptions. No surprises. Just taking someone as they are. It's difficult to do that when you're always running your mouth, you know?

the reaction if that's what u mean i have it to in genrale n't onley in conversations when u feel ike amirror if it was for u to take astep u try to do good "most of the time" but then u wait to see how they respond then ur whole attitude change and u make ur mind about that persone i know some people might think it's kinda n't related but it is someway

Good point, DentonTerry.

Just let the subject be devlopped,'cause it's not a matter of leadership,it's matter of understanding and completing the puzzle of feelings,that's all. :)

karumbey, we all have our moments. Sometimes I get in a slump and don't want to be a part of any conversation. Then there are times when I don't want to stop talking, as if I'm trying to get my thoughts together. Talking out loud makes these thoughts real, something that I can put together like a puzzle. Habits are hard to break, but at least you're trying! =)

This is so me, even after I get to know someone, unfortunately. I don't know why I am this way, and I try to be more conscious of reaching out or taking the lead. Hard habit to kick..

I think I understand, Anubiso. I always end up going back to my favorite line, "People are just... weird." More listeners in the world couldn't hurt though. =)

I think I'm like ChevyGirl I'm always reacting at conversations, sometimes that could be good. Other people often want to speak not to listen, but other times i need to talk, and the other one except you to speak and then, you can't, because you are still waiting to react.