Maybe Its In Head?

Okay, so I know I shouldn't and this will probably haunt me but its 2 am and I've had a little less than 48 hours of omg-god-am-i-really-doing-this-i-shouldn't-do-this-maybe-I-should-just-walk-away-or-talk-to-a-therapist-but-it-doesn't-make-any-f*****-sense-gahhhh-i'm-just-going-to-do-it. So background, I'm an 18-year-old heterosexual female who has never been a relationship of a sexual nature, serious or otherwise. I've known about the D/s world for about 4 years (but only on the internet and in a general sense because I come from a culture, background, and environment that doesn't acknowledge its existence) and never really showed true intrest until the last 3 months. I don't know if I'm a Dominant or a Submissive, because I do show submissive tendencies in most of my life because I'm perpetually shy and awkward toward people and I'm also equally indecisive about mostly everything in the "outside world". Still, more that half the time when I think about how I would be in a relationship, I have this insane urge to just ,okay-not-control per se like dominate, more like control in the sense of taking care of a person in every aspect, even the ones they don't necessarily want at the moment, but will be good in the end. Sometimes it does get a little more carnally dominant-based, which leaves me anxious afterward the wave ( that's what I call it, please don't mock) passes because I don't know what to do with that. So, hey, maybe its in my head, I'm just looking for answers or maybe some help. Maybe I'm wasting my time, but I just wasted 30 minutes typing this out so help, please.
AsCuriosityHasIt AsCuriosityHasIt
18-21, F
7 Responses Dec 8, 2012

im an experienced Dom/Master and i might be able to help if your willing to open your mind and chat honestly. message me and lets see whats going on in your world.

As a submissive, you would have to be with a dominant you really trust. The basis of any relationship of this nature is trust. As a dominant, you would have to be extremely logical and know that you have the best interest at heart for the person who is submissive to you. I personally am submissive. Although I can get stubborn at times and my Dom has to put me back in my place. But with your lack of experience with relationships in general, I highly suggest getting into a "normal" relationship. Not that I think there is anything odd about my relationship. You also need to consider what would be best for your self. This lifestyle isn't for everyone. And like someone else mentioned, wanting to take care of someone doesn't make you a Dom. I am an extremely caring, nurturing, over protective type. Lol. I enjoy taking care of people so much I am in school to become a nurse. And I do take care of my Dom in every way possible. But when it comes to big decisions or me being irresponsible (I tend to think with my heart over my head a lot) he makes the calls. He also takes care of me when he is here. (I'm an Army girlfriend/submissive)

Take your time explore your feelings and emotions. Research all you can sbout both the dominant personality and the submissive personality. Chat with people here on e p just becareful of what yu do your safety is important. RR really stated the remainder of what I could say very well. I strongly urge you to consider them.

I think you are quite young to be considering a D/s relationship, particularly as you have not yet been in a relationship at all.I'd recommend simply taking the time to get to know yourself, and what YOU are. Not everyone is a Dom or a sub... most fall in between somewhere. Allow yourself to meet people, enjoy life and let any potential relationships progress as they may; there is no rush. Don't worry about trying to fit into a label.

Agreed RR. Well said.

Thanks guys! Muah!

A little submissive but have ideas of taking care of someone. That still doesn't preclude you from being someone's sub. My girl likes to make sure I'm happy and taken care of... and I am not just talking about sex either. And I do the same for her.

But you could also be a little bit of a switch. That just means you have some Dom/Top and sub/bottom tendencies. Depending on how you are feeling or how your partner is feeling you could slide both ways. And that is fine too. The level of BDSM you choose is also up to you. You choose what you like and don't like. Try things and just see where it goes. If you've done some reading then you've probably read everything from some basics to some pretty extreme stuff. But like being a switch its not always about basic or extreme. It can be anywhere in between.

From my point of view and my partners we love the lifestyle. I'm Dom and she's sub. But we both have fun and take care of each other. Its an amazing life if you can find the right caring partner. :)

slow down and enjoy life, wait till you find the right one, you will figure it out in time with experience too.

u may read My real life stories and tell Me if that what u seek