U Turn

Being new to a D/s relationship I am wondering if I will ever stop thinking its crazy for basically doing a u turn on my whole personality, I am not a natural submissive in fact nobody would believe it wasn't me brandishing the whip I still can't believe it! Lol I am and have always been dominant in my mannerisms, my job, sexually, I was introduced to bdsm slightly and enjoyed it and then decided to enquire into it more myself joined a site on the search for a master someone who could teach me what I needed to know, I luckily found someone after a lot of junk mail I'm sure you know what i mean.. Anyway I met Mr Mitchell and I am happy that he is normal lol experienced and will bring out the best in me being strict but fair with a caring side, I still find it hard not to answer him back being naturally argumentative but I'm getting there.. Just writing this really to find out if its normal to think you are mad even going down this road when it's so far from the norm for you? Most of the stories I have read on here about submissives they all seem to be naturally submissive just wondering if there are many like me??
deleted deleted
26-30
7 Responses Jan 19, 2013

I've always viewed both submission and dominance as gifts to be given. The reward is the pleasure your partner receives from your gift. I personally don't see your u-turn as terribly unusual. I've written how much more appealing submission is for me when the sub is dominant in her everyday world, so I suppose I'm a little more familiar with women who enjoy the turnabout sexually.

I think you'll learn there are thousands of different levels of submission(and dominance). None of them are wrong or 'true.' They are simply unique - like most relationships. Subs and doms mesh together better than subs and subs - or doms and doms. But I don't know we're any more likely to find compatibility than the average vanilla male and female - or the average lesbian and lesbian, etc.

So far as that 'Master' & 'Sir' thing goes - to each his own. I personally am almost repulsed by the cliche' nature of the terms. Whip that out in the throes of passion with me and you'll likely be finishing on your own. ;)

Good luck to you and yours.

LMAO ... you like finishing on your own??!! (yes - we're allowed to have a little fun with each other here)

I have my moments. =D

so maybe you're not a "natural" submissive, whatever that is. but obviously, you like someone else to take control and lead you down a path that you secretly desire, but have been hesitant to explore. You're lucky, you've found someone you trust, that has some experience and leaves your self respect and esteem in tack. probably what you're experiencing is the adventure you've craved secretly with someone who not only doesn't judge, but encourage your sexual exploration. i'm jealous, lolol

As I read some of the comments below, I'm reminded of how I was as a fledgling Dom where I was exposed to new ideas, didn't like some, gravitated towards others, tried some things, hated/loved this/that,etc. Truth is that in this lifestyle (and in most of life, in my opinion) we are all evolving and we should be. This evolution/change is a natural part of life. From my experience, I know when I'm done with a certain part of my life when I'm no longer willing to learn more about it and see if I like or want something different or more than I did before. As a starting Dom, I couldn't stand the idea of a 24/7 BDSM relationship. I only wanted to do this in the bedroom, and then be equals everywhere else. Now, when I went looking for a new sub, I sought out one who could handle 24/7 status.

Be willing and ready to grow and learn, is what I'm saying. I hope you are. You sound like you're off to a great start and I hope to hear more from you.

Jeepers ... won't we ALL look forward to that! :)

Great story from a fresh perspective, for me. May I add you, so I may follow your development? I will respect any and all boundaries you have, now and in the future. Thank you.

Thank you, good luck.

I've had a similar experience, just from a Dom's POV. I've always been taught and practiced to have proper respect for a woman and what she wants and needs. In fact, I usually practiced that her needs came first. In essence, I guess I was grew up learning to be more submissive. When I had a gf who wanted to experience a rape fantasy, I figured I should give her what she wanted. Then she wanted to be told what to do. Then she wanted to be my sex slave for a weekend. It wasn't long before I was basically her Dom. Funny thing was that I thought it was only fair that I try being a sub to show her how fair I could be. The first time she laid an order on me, I knew it wasn't right. Then, she smacked my leg as some sort of discipline. I came out of subbie character so fast, even I was amazed at how I reacted. Didn't take me long to realize that, while I may have been raised and taught to be more submissive, that's just not me at my heart. Once I let me just be me, I was much much happier.

I understand this. I have always known something was "different" about me but I am like you in the sense that I am not submissive to just anybody. I lead in my line of work and love doing so; I have had a lot of responsibility. This has nothing to do with who I am a submissive, so don't let that confuse you. Healthy submissives are in fact very strong.<br />
And yes, like you, I have a mouth. Ugh. ;-)

I know exactly what you mean. I can be dominant sometimes in the bedroom, and I've genuinely enjoyed it but it doesn't hold a candle to being submissive; it's a whole different realm. I'm impatient too, hahahaha....I can completely relate.

In regards to chat rooms/email etc., if someone is polite to me and requests that I call them "sir" I will do so, but I will not capitalize it. Capitalizing, to me, is an earned title and I will tell them so. I haven't had any push back on that. (If I did I'd end the conversation pretty quickly!)

you bet :)

it strongly depends on how "far" you want to go. what i learned from talking to other non-natural subs is you will never completely stop asking yourself. though it can be great pleasure anyway. ;)