So in general, I like to think of my self as always being a very positive and loving guy most of the time. For being my age, I really have had some massive challenges and huge dilemmas to overcome, and always on my own and usually when I am at my weakest point. Cause that's how they try to get you right? Kick you when your already down! Lol.

Anyways, I'm not complaining I'm just stating a pattern in my life, that whenever things get bad, they reach the highest climax possible and I can barely cope with it. But I always do, and I really do believe that I handle it pretty dam well when I look back on it, and am proud of myself.

The thing now is though. Whenever one of these situations have occurred (like being pinned as a cheater to my bf of over 3 yrs to both sides of the families and friends, when things were absolutely not how it seemed) I don't fight for myself, I try to say my side, when I can't or am shut down I just... Keep it all in. Am sad and depressed on my own time because I do not want the world seeing me 1, vulnerable because I feel like I am and will always be taken advantage of and 2, being seen as anyone but this happy guy trying to be there for friends and make the most out of life. Plus. I think I would burst, I need to keep it together for myself because nooo one else is going to, I'm on my own.
I may have to keep it together but, after finding out my status a few weeks ago, I just feel like it all went over the tip of the iceberg and I may haveta keep it together but, can't keep it all in anymore. Really need to start releasing myself from certain things so I can let go and really make the most out of this beautiful, short life. I need to let myself know that I am just as important as the next person, and just because my version of the truth may hurt someone else, it deserves to be heard! I've realized now how much I have been damaging myself for the sake if others and I refuse to do it anymore. No one will do it for me and I deserve to start giving myself the release!!
Love and light and I appreciate those who have gone out of there way to read <3
justkeepswimming89 justkeepswimming89
26-30, M
Aug 19, 2014