My Partner Says I'm Straight...and It Hurts

My partner of 10 years says i'm a straight girl because i don't have any gay friends i talk to on a daily basis nor can i name any gay artists. Just because i had a daughter and that i want more kids at age 27 and want to be married and be a stay at home wife that makes me a straight girl. She say's i think like a straight girl too. Like how i do things around the house and stuff. Also i have told her that i try to go out in the gay community to meet others like us but she says ,"
that's what straight people would say." She has said that she didn't want to be "that lesbian" that is with a straight girl and has a kid. So with that being said...she is thinking of leaving me. Is this ridiculous? I no i'm not straight...nor am i bi. Yes i have slept with men in my past but i've always looked at women and have been attracted to women my whole life. Being with a man kind of grosses me out. I can't see myself with anyone else but her. What do you think?
sdcleaningsvcs sdcleaningsvcs
26-30, F
4 Responses Jan 8, 2013

Wow! I'd never claim to know anything about your lifestyle, but being accused of being straight and it causing issues would have never crossed my mind. That has to be extremely stressful. I have two really good friends who are lesbians (yeah, I'm "that guy" apparently lol) and I never once gave a thought to the possibility of it potentially causing a problem for them. I always thought of them as the best friends I could ever ask for.

I'm sorry for what its worth that you have to go through that.

<p>I'm sorry you're having a difficult time with your partner. We all come to figure out we're gay in different ways. Some people are practically born with a rainbow flag in their hand, lol. Others take a lot longer to figure things out. There's nothing wrong with either path as long as you're living the life you're meant to be living and that you're happy. </P><p>Everyone has to start somewhere when making friends, gay or straight and it's difficult no matter what! Especially as we get older. Just because you don't have any gay friends right now or that you can't name any gay artists does not make you straight. It's like telling someone they aren't gay if they don't listen to Melissa Etheridge, lol. That's just silly. There's no checklist for being gay (other than being attracted to the same sex). I'm sure you coud take a look at your partner and find a lot of "straight" attributes in her too. Oh and by the way, I don't listen to Melissa Etheridge. Guess I must be straight too. ;-)</P>

lol thanks :)

I think you know who you are better than she does... after all, your experience of yourself is first hand. If she wants to leave you because she thinks you act like a straight woman, then there wasn't much there in the first place - at least, not on her side. There are a lot of women who will look at you and see how together you are and how you have organized your life and be very attracted to that, should this woman fail to value you enough to stay with you.

thanks lot! that really helped....i've been having ups and down with my partner. we have tried multiple things to fix our relationship but we are like oil and water. we dont mix. but we love each other so much. she says she wont leave me because she loves me but she can't deal with the crap that comes with me...that includes my daughter. she has a hard time sharing things and i think i am one of them. her person ality is the exact opposite from mine but that's okay as long as we make each other happy...that's how i see it. but i never know how she feels cuz she bottles it all up inside and then when she can't stand it anymore or i push her to that breaking point, she says things like the statement above. It hurts when she says that but i'm trying to stay strong and not be so sensitive. She says it hurts her when i cry and later after we have our little argument (which by now has turned into a big argument) she hugs me and says she really loves me and doesn't mean to hurt me. I really do love her. i want this to work. we have been each others love for 10 years (even when we weren't together). I donno. I'm sensitive and emotional and she's a hard a** and balls to the wall honest. LOL but they do say opposites attract do they not?. anyways. thank you for your input. i really appreciate it.

I think you need to make it clear that you care for -her- now, if she still pushes you away, it will just hurt to prolong the relationship. Message me if you need a friend.

thanks alot! i will..i'm still new at this so you can message me at

Just click on the open envelope on the right top side of the screen to mail me. I'd delete any outside contact details for safety.