Replacement

i now know what the truth is. when i was born i didnt know it but there was a hidden lie. my parents were suppose to have four kids but the first died leaving me and my other 2 siblings. then came the next big shock for me years later. i found out that when i was still within the womb, my father had instructed my mother to kill me.

the refusal killed him and mother. she denied him that stupid request and let me live. at my birth my father didnt care. he was at the local ***** house with friends rather than see me born.

years later i found out too, that i had two brothers, but one was dead from before birth. i didnt understand at first. but i soon realized what it meant. im the replacement baby. his death created me. i live with not only one soul, but i live with his as well. i feel more than most. my emotions are heightened by 1000 and make me feel more. i am burnt with the fact that i live with him inside of me.

even if he doesnt, i feel him within me. trying to escape from the torment of my life. flee from the confinement that is my hollow body. only now i can turn to god and jesus and ask for their help through this. pray that they watch over everyone and keep them safe. tell them that they are all loved. god and jesus are the two greatest beings to ever exist, they always will be. so join them friends. let them aid you. i will.

but they cannot help my brother until i set us both free. not in death, but in repenting and forgiving all those who hurt us throughout our lives. so here is my advice to you all. live.
deleted deleted
26-30
May 5, 2012