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Re-nesting.....how?

My precious son will be leaving for the US MARINES soon, a dear child that I've known all his years. Since my husband died years ago when my son was four, it's only been he and I since then. As a God-fearing parent, I taught him a Christ-filled life; taught him at my knee of the scriptures and what God expects of us. I gave him roots, and wings to fly. Now comes the day when he stretches out those wings and tests them. Who would have known this small child with dimples and who followed me wherever I went would one day become a man? Sure, I knew it intellectually, but didn't really believe it.....put it off for yet another day, another year....another birthday.

The joyfulness of my sweet child growing up is immense, but the sadness of him leaving the safety and protection of his own home is choking, enveloping, too much for me to bear. How will I deal with it, I don't know. There will be much empty space---no midnight snacks, no laundry to do, no dishes to wash, no head to kiss. I thought I might start smoking cigarettes again, a habit I gave up five years ago. I have some good friends, but all have left town and moved to other states. I have a strength that can only have come from above, and now I must tap into that reserve to see myself through this ordeal.

Since he was a child, he had wanted to be a soldier. Used to clop around the house in his black rubber snowboots, aka 'military boots' and played pretend with his friends, or if they weren't around, then with me. Had me buy him American Patriot cd's, mini flag in hand and singing and waving and marching to the music. Yankee Doodle Dandy was his favorite song. At ten, he insisted on visiting a recruitment station where the young soldiers would commend him on his plans to become one of them. "Study hard and well", they encouraged.  "We'll see you again one day", said they. Now is that day. Too much, too soon. How can I bear it?

I did not discourage him from becoming a soldier; did not threaten or harass him as I know many parents do to their military-bound children; did not throw him out of the house; did not disinherit him. I never want to use or abuse my parental power or privilege by stopping him from what he wants to do most in his young life, as long as it was honest. This I trust will always be so. He should live his life according to his heart, a heart that is guided by God. Who am I to interfere then? God doesn't explain Himself to the likes of me. The God of my son is also my God, and I must allow him to have his right lest we both be ruined forever. Love, support, encouragement, counsel, and advice when he asks it......that is what I can give him.

I let him go with a heavy heart and an awful sadness, tears come but I never let him see.....I do this because it's the right thing to do.
stitchedhen stitchedhen 56-60, F 1 Response Nov 29, 2011

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You're right... it's the right thing to do.<br />
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God Bless You. <br />
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You are extraordinary... as is your son.

Thank you, my friend for reading, listening, understanding.