Breaking The Rules...

I have a couple of regrets in my life, but they all centre around a single person in my life. I regret going out with my ex...I gained nothing from the relationship apart from abuse of every kind....and a severe problem with trust. I regret the fact that I talked to him again when he said he had changed. I regret the fact it took another attack for me to finally have the courage to stand up against him in court. I regret that he ever entered my life.

The quote that I have chosen for this story holds a special meaning to my life. My Gran used to say this to me in times when I was feeling bad. I though things were awful, I couldn't go on, I wanted everything to stop for a while so that I could catch up. The last time she said this to me was just before she passed away last year. It was the anniversary of her death yesterday. And I was really down. I was on the internet looking for quotes for something I had to do at work, and this one popped up. Stupid as it sounds, its almost like she meant for me to see it. Things have been tough in recent weeks and those are the times I would have gone to her. Seeing this quote reminded me of that.

I am happy to say during my life, I have had many times where I have laughed uncontrollably, kissed slowly......forgiven somewhat quickly. The one that I am yet to do again, is love truly. Of course I love my family, my son, with all my heart. But I mean that other person who stands next to you in life, supports you, makes you feel like the best version of yourself. To truly love someone who is a positive influence to you is something I can't wait to have. I thought I had it once, but it turns out it wasn't what I thought. I don't regret it though, even though at the time it ended, it hurt like hell.

There have been so many things in my life that have made me smile, even when they have been a little bit more on the bad girl than the good girl side. And I will never regret the things that made me smile...because they were things that were amazing at the time, even if I was being bad! I hope I have a lot more of these times. :)
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Jan 20, 2013