We Each Come To Create The Reality We Believe We Deserve. ~Steven RedheadThere are always two sides or more to every story. Anyone who believes otherwise is being foolish. I can't abide by some women fantasizing themselves into a reality that doesn't exist and when the walls of self-deception come crashing down, blame others for their own stupidity. They run around looking for sympathy when all the while they were the ones who deceived themselves. And some of us, never knowing the whole truth, believe them. Name pejoratives against the silent one, the one who tried to be a friend and caused misery in the kindness they gave. Because though thoughtfulness and consideration be given, a woman who's already unhappy with her life will think ANY amount of attention from a member of the opposite sex gives her permission to own him. To dream he is the one who will save her from her wretched life.
What drives anyone to believe they have the right to control someone? To tell them, nag them, berate them, and then eventually hate them in their lust for a semblance of control in their lives? No amount of that kind behavior is going to change someone else's heart. Telling someone you love them as a friend is not the same and never will be, the romantic love so desperately desired. Yet some women think that if they try hard enough the other person will eventually fall in love with them. No amount of telling them otherwise by friends and/or family will change their mind. Like watching lemmings running to the edge of a cliff, the end is in plain sight for everyone else.
When has blame shifting ever made things better? People move on, find new loves. Replace the one they thought so heinous not so long ago, and never take a good deep look at themselves. It wasn't their fault. Of course not. It was the lying dirtbag. Or was it? When you want to believe in fairy tales bad enough, sometimes you disregard the signs showing the path back to reality. Continue to chase the rainbows until they become what they always were: an illusion. Yet, never believing or wanting to believe you fooled yourself only leads to more sorrow and heartbreak. All the rest of us can do is wonder what to say to someone who's doing that to themselves.
Having watched at least one of my children live through this, yet being wise enough, as a parent, to understand the one-sidedness of her claims, I'm still at a loss to help her the next time she falls for her own self-deception. But she's in her twenties. I know reason will eventually wend its way in. She won't always be like this. I just pity the women who refuse to see how they created the reality they thought they deserved. Who never learn to face the truth.
Indie42 46-50, F 2 Apr 24, 2013