I am going to write a lot of my stories in the third person, because they are not always based on me. Hope you all don't mind.
Jennifer is a busy mother of four boys. She works full-time and does a lot to raise her children well and keep her home running in good order. Her husband works long hours and isn't able to contribute much time to housework. Both of them often feel a bit overwhelmed and stressed.
Jennifer's inlaws live out of town, several hours away. At some point early on in the marriage, her inlaws and several other relatives drove to town and stopped by their home unannounced on a Saturday morning. Jennifer was appalled. She was in the middle of doing a week's worth of laundry, picking up toys strewn all over house, and cleaning the breakfast dishes. She was still in her pajamas and looked horrible.
So Jennifer invited them in, apologized for the mess, and did the best she could to make them comfortable. Her mil made comments that the house was a wreck. After they left, she angrily told her husband he better make sure they called ahead next time. He informed his mother to please call in advance next time.
About six months later, mil and a great aunt show up at the house unannounced again when Jennifer's dh was still at work. Jennifer once again invites them in, but this time she is angry. She explains to them that she is a busy person who is tired after work. She tells them it is stressful to have unexpected guests. MIL replies that it is her son's home and she feels fine stopping by anytime she wants. Great Aunt agrees. When DH gets home, mil tells him that Jennifer has been rude to them. DH later gets mad at Jennifer.
Jennifer cannot live with the stress of worrying that her mil will show up anytime uninvited. Her dh agrees with his mother that it is fine. How should Jennifer handle this?