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The Older I Get, The More I Do...

First off, i want to say it is so nice to hear of everyone in this experience group that adores asian men...for once they are not being riduculed, belittled or bashed!  I am asian (Japanese) and have seen so many negative things written about asian men, it was sad!  So thank you all, for this refreshing group!  Now for my story...

I do find as i get older, that i'm leaning more towards my roots when it comes to men. Of course i was like most asian girls that lived in the U.S., dating predominantly only white men.  My boyfriend of 10 years was a white man, and he was a very wonderful and kind person all the way until his untimely death 3 years ago.  Once again finding myself in the dating world, and in a different generation at that, i realized that a lot of the guys that were interested in me, weren't interested in ME, but what i was (asian)...they seem to have wanted a pet, a project or a experiment.  Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that all guys are like that, but it seemed the majority of them were.  Even when i was attracted to this one guy, who had never even fathomed going out with an asian but went out with me as an "experience",  he quickly kicked me to the curb when he found a nice blonde girl. 

Although a bit heartwrenched, i finally thought to myself, why should i knock myself out for anyone who doesn't want me for who i am but what i am....at least i wouldn't have that problem with an asian man.  And, as i get older i find myself a little less flexible about things...i eat Japanese food and Korean food, i watch the dramas, i speak japanese fluently, and i still do things that are culturally related.  I have found that some insensitive men (who actually like asian women)  find the food offensive and laugh at the dramas saying the asian guy who stars in it is a wuss cause he's being romantic.  With an asian man, at the least, won't be disgusted by the food!  Sadly, though, i am a minority...many of my girl friends who are asian look at me as if i had 15 heads when i tell them that i would date asian men....especially one from the mother country.  Thanks for letting me share my story.

loserinlove loserinlove 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 6, 2010

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It is sad that many people who want in an interracial relationship want it for all the wrong reasons. <br />
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Like you I have heard white guys say ugly things about Asian men while dating Asian women. They don't realize that if they marry and have a son he will more than likely have his mother's beautiful Asian features. Hearing his father say derogatory things about Asian guys will give him a complex that can be devastating to him.

hm... interesting that a big handful of people fantasize with interracial experience; its a nice sharing, take care and good luck with love -cheers!

Thank you!!! While i can't speak for my Asian girlfriends, just from what i gather, it just seems to be a preference thing....i guess growing up in a western world has shaped their ideas on what is attractive and acceptable to them. Many of them never seem to find people of their own heritage, attractive...and they seem to be particularly hard on those from the mother country. I have been very fortunate to have a family that has instilled the culture in me...my mother is from Japan and my father is a Japanese born American...and i was very lucky to have been brought up in a bilingual household that enriched the beauty of both worlds for me to appreciate.

Hi, Im curious, and loved your very honest open story...why would your Asian girlfriends think you're crazy for wanting an Asian man?...Anyway, just be true to yourself, and yes, nobody wants to be a pet of any sort.:)