It's Hard

When I want to be alone, whether that's to get my thoughts together, relaxing, or doing homework, then I can handle that. I like my time when no one is disturbing me and I can just be with myself.

When I don't want to be alone and yet I'm lonely, I hate that. You feel so.....rejected. Like there is no one that wants you. There are some points where I don't get any human contact, whether that's in person or through various forms of communication. A new pain starts to emerge when you are lonely that can't be described. It takes on a whole new set of emotions that almost make you want to just end your life for those few moments when you are lonely.

Being lonely is a lonely place to be....

deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Feb 19, 2009

I completely understand. There's such a big difference between choosing to be alone and then being alone because it seems like there's no one out there. It's a hard conundrum, when you like to be alone to get things done, especially if you just enjoy your own company sometimes more than others. But then when you don't want to be by yourself, it can seem like a dark world with no where to go.<br />
<br />
Don't lose hope cugirl, I'm right there with you. You can always come to this site when you feel that way, and just remember that it's a big world out there, there has to be at least a few people who can cure your loneliness :)