Yes, I'm Alone, So What?

All my life I've had to take time to be alone, by myself. People would try to talk to me, telling me not to sit alone in the corner, complaining how I shouldn't withdraw from their company.

It felt bad when people disturbed my thoughts during the times I wanted to be alone, now it's been diagnosed that I have panic disorder and that's just one of the symptoms or something.

Another problem seems to be the fact that I really don't want to get married or have kids. I haven't had a boy/girlfriend even once in my life and it's okay with me, but it proves to be a huge problem to my family and my psychiatrist. It seems to me that they have more problems than I have.

This intrusiveness has made my panic disorder even worse over the years as well as my depression. Only recently, when I found my best friend, have I been able to relax and stop worrying about things that aren't even important to me. I love being with her, so I'm not a hermit, but it takes a certain type of person I can stand being with for long period of time.

So, yes, I love being alone a lot, be it in a separate room than everyone else, an abandoned house where there is only bugs and random birds and rodents or in a dark corner when everyone else are enjoying themselves.

I also love my friends and family, we share our ups and downs and we come together at Christmas and the like. I'm just the one who comes late and leaves early, stays quiet most of the time and keeps a distance when interacting with others.
HoofFoot HoofFoot
18-21, F
Aug 14, 2007