Love Being Gay - Hate Society

So, I've known I was gay...well since I could conciously think. And to be quiet honest I personally have never felt 'wrong'. Now I'm not saying that I haven't ever thought that my life would be easier if I were straight, I'm just saying that I always felt normal, until of corse High School. My freshman year of High School was lovely, I was still considered 'normal', I had a decent amount of friends and was well liked. However toward the end of the year it really hit me that people were seriously going to hate me if I ever came out.

When sophmore year rolled around somethings in my life had significantly changed. Puberty obviously kicked in full swing, I had just lost my bestfriend over soemthing completely ridiculous, and I also started partying and smoking weed (mmm weed). So as I progressed into the year, I suddenly felt the need to start telling people that I was infact gay. Well at the time I was 'Bi', however I just said this to ease the amount of awarkness that was going to insue. So I intially told my very closest friends (two girls), and I encountered no hate or rejection there, which was lovely.

Unfortuantely, in conservative - small town schools, word

By the end of my sophmore year, I was determined to drop out of school and get as far away from there as possible. Again in my unfortunate life (well at least at the time I felt pretty unlcuky), this was not possible. Because in order for me to do this I would have to admitt to my parents the real reason I wanted out so badly (being gay duh! and the weird looks and ignorance that come with it). I won't go into detail about school, becuase I've really put it out of my head since graduation.

Junior year rolls around: Same **** for another entire year of my life.

Senior year; now this is where things start to change for the better...well sort of. For the most part the year went by as the previous two had, me desperately wanting to leave the school, and the other kids ignoring me at best. Until about four moths before graduation however something just clicked in my head, it really made me say "WTF do I care about these stupid, silly people"? Since that was the day I was going to finally drop out -was- being the keyword, my sudden realization however prompted me to complete my high school career.

Though I experienced some really just flat-out wrong things throughout school, I still never really felt wrong - just wronged. At this day in my life, I enjoying being gay, I like seeing an attractive man, and thinking of all the ways I could infilct some damage ;] Though I'm still not out to my family, I feel more secure with myself then I ever have.

joeyisthename joeyisthename
18-21, M
4 Responses Nov 17, 2009

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I think you should work on finding a gay support group or go to a gay friendly group in your area. Try to mingle at the events there, and try to make friends with the people you meet. Never lose pride with who you are. You're a beautiful guy and those who do not see that are not worthy of your love and/or friendship.

Very meaningful comment onlinegrandpa.. cheers from Singapore.

My friends and family have accept me for me, nothing else. I am who I am. I like to be straight forward, and the hell with the rest. If, they don't like me? Well t hell with them. I am a business man, and a town-councilman, I serve of the Chamber of Commerce, I am President Of the Neighborhood Watch, I am a youth leader. I serve as a volunteer, around this area in which I live. I am who I am, nothing else.

Just remind yourself there are people out there in the world who will not accept you, but, if you think about it, you really wouldn't want acceptance from those people anyway.<br />
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Quite a few people think I'm gay, perhaps because I have a strong feminine side and I'm not afraid to show it. I never correct those people, though. I allow them to think whatever they want about me. I even think it's funny.<br />
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One nice thing about being old is I get to look back at the sum of all my experiences and come up with much better ethics, so I can tell you for an absolute fact, your sexuality, your gender preference, is of no significance at all. It's ethically neutral. So go be yourself, but keep a low profile, though, because idiots throw rocks.