Enter Fox News Conspiracy Theory Contest!

The official RNC/Fox News Obama Conspiracy Theory Contest For 2010 Has Just Started. Read Below For Official Details And A Chance To Have YOUR Conspiracy Theory Read Live On The Air At Fox Or Into The Congressional Record by An Official Republical Nutjob!



I love reading message board conspiracy theories.


The reality is that these are some of the best short stories on the market and they are all totally free.


No one likes to think that these theories have an actual “author” because that destroys the illusion. A good conspiracy theory is like meta-fiction…it draws the reader into its “secret” world and elevates him or her to heroic status.  How does it do this? Simple. Once the reader is told “the secret” then the reader is now a part of the “resistance” that will defeat the evil-doers out to destroy America or the world (usually America and the entire World are assumed be the exact same thing in most conspiracy theories. Most ConTher authors cannot envision a world wherein the United States suffers a disaster and the rest of the world gets on just fine. No, if we go then EVERYONE dies too!)


Almost all conspiracy theories are group efforts. These are folk stories told and retold a thousand times and new elements and details are added with each new author and each retelling. What begins as local tribal stories ends up becoming epic legends.


Remember Bill Clinton?


His legend began as a small one back when he was governor. He was just a jerk who cheated on his wife. But the legend grew and grew and grew until finally he was one of the most powerful men on earth and personally involved in dozens of murders (including the murder of Vince Foster which he made to look like a suicide) and series of incredibly complex land deals (Whitewater) as well as an elaborate drug smuggling ring and a failed plot to assassinate the Pope so that he could declare himself the new Pope and usher in the Biblical Armageddon!


The internet has allowed these short fiction authors to really craft some brilliant masterworks and distribute them to the masses much faster than they could back when Bill Clinton was President. In just one year Barack Obama has gone from merely “shady Chicago deal-maker with mob ties” to the most powerful tyrant in human history! Not even Nero who routinely amused himself by feeding Christian to the lions could match the all-mighty demon-king known as Obama in terms of absolute power and cruelty.


Did you hear about the prison camps FEMA built to house all the Patriots who dare oppose Obama when he repeals the 2nd Amendment and outlaws all guns?


Did you hear that Obama regularly aborts babies to inject himself with their stem cells so that he can stay young forever?


If you play footage of the Twin Towers collapsing at super slow-mo you can clearly see a man that look almost identical to Obama exiting the Tower and holding something that looks like a detonator just minutes before the towers collapse! Where’s the footage? Within 24hrs of Obama taking office the incriminating evidence was mysterious deleted off of every server in America and overseas!


Okay…I made that last two up (how’d ya like the stem cell one?) Try it! It’s FUN to write Obama conspiracy theories. And don’t feel pressure to make is plausible or believable. The real fun of writing an Obama conspiracy theory is that there is no “wrong” way to write one. There is no such thing as too outrageous or too nonsensical. Anything goes. You can attribute any natural disaster to him, any personal problems, and global problems….everything can be Obama’s fault so long as you explain why.


The only guidelines are that you have to claim you heard it from a credible news source or eyewitness (you can kill them later in the story if you wish) and it has to involve the absolute and utter destruction of the United States if Obama isn’t removed from office within the next 90 days.**




**Note: these are the official RNC/Fox News short fiction guidelines. If you want your conspiracy theory to be read on Fox News or be referenced by Michele Bachman or Sarah Palin then stick to the official RNC/Fox News guidelines. If you don’t care if your conspiracy theory is read on the air (or into the Congressional Record) then write in any style you feel comfortable with.





niceguyinhell niceguyinhell
31-35, M
12 Responses Feb 1, 2010

Wow...that was really shocking EvesHarvest!<br />
<br />
The world is just getting nuttier and nuttier.

OMG, there are so many more Republicans with these conspiracy beliefs than I realized:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=894568" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a><br />
<br />

Oh these are very good!

I like it Penguin. I'm trying to figure out which 24-hour news network would be most likely to break the story.

Berlusconi is the reason 2 cell phones are smarter than all biology.

Glen Beck is the product of a semi-successful collaboration between artificial intelligence engineers at Carnegie Mellon and animators at Pixar. Messaging engineers at Fox are particularly impressed by the fact that the Glenn Beck Huvatar (Human/avatar) can effortlessly channel the thoughts of Roger Ailes, while using a goofy cartoon voice to conceal Ailes' vituperative bile. <br />
<br />
Beck is not the first creation, but surely the most successful. There strong evidence that the same process was attempted on Michelle Bachman. Under the pretense of sending her to an Obama Re-education camp, Bachman was whisked off to an artificial intelligence lab where the attempted <br />
intellgence 'graft' was secrely conducted. <br />
<br />
Nobody can be certain what went wrong, but apparently an engineer charged with the task , had a brain aneurysm while trying to compute the Bachman algorythm. <br />
When Bachman started showing symptoms of compassion empathy, and critical reflection, she was whipped off to the Walter Reed army base where she is apparently convalescing.

Haha :-P

Eve, I know you aren't making that up. I see that Michelle Obama has started the 1st real garden at the White house. They have already provided tons of "produce" to food banks.

I went to the mother of all sources.....Glen Beck never disappoints! I swear....turned on Fox right after I read your story to see a video of black teenagers in military garb, going through military type salutes and chanting that Because of Obama, I will be a chemical engineer! Because of Obama, I will be an accountant..etc. Right into another video of a southern black teacher telling her young students that her parents shouldn't vote for McCain because he will keep us in war for 100 years....cut to an anguished frightened Beck, beseeching, pleading..."Obama, keep away from the children!" You can't make this stuff up!

Thank you. ;-) I can't wait to read others.

Awesome EvesHarvest, simply awesome!<br />
<br />

This just off the wire: The Navi people in the movie "Avatar" were modeled after Obama. The resemblance isn't hard to see. Take a close look at Obama's ears. It's not hard to see that their bodies were modeled after him. The Obama administration hired someone to write the script as a work of propaganda. This is why this Godless movie was denounced by the Pope. The pope has special information about Obama's participation in a secret covenant aimed at converting the whole world into a socialist, pagan, goddess-worshipping culture who sustain themselves eating from the garden, with soylent green made from grinding up the rich as a protein supplement.