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The Pitfalls Of Punctuation

There, in the tail of that comma, in that ethereal silent pause between whispered words, we are suspended in a universe of our own making. 

I pirouette on your full-stop period and leap onto your curvaceous parenthesis.  I caress its hard sensuous curve and coax it to unleash its mystery like the night jasmine releasing its fragrant unfinished secret that trails off into the ellipsis in the midnight sky…

A grand exclamation you are!  You there!  Yes, you!!  Standing so erect and tall and hard!!  So emphatic in your declarations of love!!  Will you halve me on a forward slant?  Or bend me backward on the bracket of your choosing?

Or perhaps push me onto the curve of the question mark?  Testing the limits of my punctuational limberness?  Or maybe arch me onto the linear dash for your fleeting pleasure?

You split our souls in two with your hypen, but I pray the semicolon will rejoin our halves into blissful wholeness.

Take from me my sacred words and frame them in these quotation marks.  I give them to you freely -- if, and only if, you acknowledge my ownership of those words.

Must you question my liberation?  Can we not split the colon and call it even? 

Please, don’t bring the apostrophe into this!  Your contractual mistress is a thorn in my side.  And you know my obsession with the possessive form!

And the plural possessive – it’s obscene.  I will not go there – I cannot go there - not even for you.  Do not ask this of me!

Please, use a #2 pencil and mark your answers clearly on the scantron sheet.  Erase thoroughly any mistakes…
Vignette Vignette 51-55, F 14 Responses Jun 6, 2012

Your Response


welcome to life down off the fence


V..... How could I have missed this??? I absolutely love it. Pure genius.

That was great. You held my attention with a smile from begining to end. I have to admit I am a little envious. WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO WRITE LIKE THAT?

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. The best way to improve one's writing is to practice often and to learn about the basics of writing. Creative writing is a lot of fun because you have to take yourself out of the box and look at things from new angles. Try it!

Inspiring. Thanks.

You're welcome - glad you enjoyed it.

V, you should send this off to... uh... hmmm... well, I've never sent anything off, so really don't know, but... HELL! SEND IT TO SOMEONE!

Thank you, you're so kind, dear. But I don't have much desire to tangle in the headache of trying to get published. Besides, I'm just a novice. There are countless writers much more ahead of the game than I am. :-)

OK, be that way! Then I'll plagiarize it, turn it into a song, make millions and... oh, hell... ok! Whatever!

Be my guest, dear! You have my permission!! :-)

Absolutely magnificent, if only (and that is quite the understatement) I were so disciplined to observed the proper punctuating fundamentals! My personalized creative angle on self ex<x>pression often inhibits me from following These rules and regulations...but, could I still be just as able to be just as expressive under these undeniable strict punctuating standards? My low-budget approach has a charm that tweaks even the most curious of minds; my quirky words could only describe the thoughts of the true shenanigan that I dare be. "Geniuses are like thunderstorms. They go against the wind, terrify people, cleanse the air." A quote from Kierkegaard. My rules are simple: engage my readers with known acts, contribute my personalized perspective on matters, share some sort of lesson or fish for a smile/chuckle. Those are Konstantine's rules of writing.<br />
It is Magic for the readers' minds.<br />
<br />
This came from my iPad...<br />
Thank you for sharing.

What a colorful and imaginative comment! Full of fun and whimsy! Don't worry about punctuating fundamentals...they're highly overrated, and it's much more fun to break the rules, anyway. :-) Thank you for reading and commenting.

What an imagination you have! Your creative writing is so provocative. This reminds me of a song about punctuation, but I forget who sings it. (p.s. yours is better, though)

Aw, thank you! Glad you liked it. :-)

f!a:n't-as.t,i)c ... loved it !!!

Thank you, Wib, I'm always honored by your compliments. :-)

Wow. Wow. Wow :)<br />
Absolutely briiliant!<br />
I'm adding this to my favourites :)

Now you're wowing me! Wow! :-) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

This was just pure fun to read with my early morning coffee!! Thanks you!! Sooo creative! :)

Thank you, Sie. Glad you liked it! :-)

I can't wait for you to get in to adjectives, verbs and of course my personal favorite... dangling participles.<br />
VERY WELL DONE GRASSHOPPA! You have shown punctuation that it is merely your ***** to do with as you please!!! In or out of the box!

Thank you, dear. I know you're fond of those dangling bits. :-) Stay tuned - bugs splattered on the windshield may be coming soon, to an EP screen near you!! ;-D

Hahahahaha! Can't wait!

BTW, yes, you CAN start your weekend early. Of course, come Monday, you shall be set forth under the lash!

A bubble sheet delight! Where were you when we had to define punctuation? Could a semi-colon be a half colon only because it is, well, half-assed? Wouldn't know if the apostrophe's bad point are all that bad, yet apostrophes' importance does make a difference between the haves and the have nots. Only, when something is missing, I suppose or when things get possessive. Damn you did well with this, I almost want to follow the rules you have set forth.

Ah, but you should know, my teacher taught me to break all the rules after I learned them. He was a stickler for stepping out of the box. ;-) Don't follow my rules...I cast them he taught me to do... :-)

Such a great take on it all too! I love it!

I'm really happy you enjoy it. It encompasses so many of the things you've taught me. :-) But there is much more to learn, so don't think your work is done yet. I'm afraid you can't retire any time soon. :-)

I am about to retire, to refresh, alas, to be tired yet again! I only know what I know, and sometimes don't know that i know until someone as brilliant as you asks!

Now that you've been asked, you know! I only hope that you will extend the extension of your knowledge, to help those like me, who have a genuine desire to impart that knowledge upon others. Although I admit freely, I may selfishly have my own motives at times, but my ultimate goal is to benefit all of humankind. :-)

By continuing to breathe and write, you are already a benefit to all, sincerely. Knowledge is so fleeting, but, the wisdom behind the search for knowledge ... ahh ... therein lies the satisfaction, knowing one is on a quest! I am glad to share your quest, and is so doing, you've inadvertently joined mine. Each answer on this quest, will pop up more questions. Gotta love it, it keeps on going ...

I think, as another friend of mine recently said, reciprocity may be the mutual answer. :-)

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Thank you, Nell. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-)