How Diapers And I Met

A True Story, written by Robert Newman
My story begins in small midwestern town in the coolest state called South Dakota. Back in
1982, parents of Ruby & Wes Newman had their middle child. Around that time my mom
worked full time and my dad was driving truck cross country, which was his career at the
time. Even though he was driving truck there were times when he got to be alone with me at
home as my mom worked. During the period of time of being like two or so, I was probably
first sexually abused. Between this age and about the age of 6 or so, I somewhat remember. I
was physically, verbally & emotionally abused; also I am sure the sexual abuse did happen
since then, I do not remember much.
Continuing this story from age 7, I know I was daycare pretty much every day during the
week, also the events leading to a divorce were beginning to come about which made my life
at home stressful and unhappy within myself, which did create low self-esteem and hard time
socializing with others outside home. The abuse of the kinds mentioned did lessen and I can
remember more from this age on. The pain and scars still remain from what I went through.
Over a period time of attending daycare, I hung around the bathroom when the younger kids
we given good and kind attention, which I desired greatly at that time and wanted it. So as the
time went on I began the process of pairing up the attention and happiness to being
With that need for nurturing inside me grew, became more osbessed with the diapers on the
kids and the excess ones that were in the bathroom. Along with this I wanted to wear diapers
again, so one time I went into the bathroom and pretended I was going to use the bathroom,
with the door closed I did look over the diapers that were used but could be reused from being
dry, also there were some that were still new, grabbing the biggest one I could find I put that
one and pulled up my pants, then left the bathroom.
With this obsession growing as the weeks and months went on I increased of the diapers I did
this with. Having this many diapers gone from there, I was eventually told I can not be there
anymore, but they put up with it for a couple of years. Also during this time, I did see a
psychologist for the issues that were going on, which only encouraged since the love for them
were greater than the life without them. Since the psychologist thought it was just a phase, he
suggested that my mom should agree to buy diapers for me at home. Well that only backfired
when she said she will stop paying for them. Finally at 10 I got to stay at home following
school being over and behavior became worse of acting out since I had no diapers anymore
to feel secure within myself as a child.
About 1992, the divorce was finally taking place and coming to an end, my dad was totally
moved out and living on his own. Also I did visit him and felt no fear being there along with
him. Around this time I do remember some good times he did, like going to Hardees and
going out the sales barn to see different cattle auctioned off.
Becoming a preteen, I began to develop other feelings for the diapers, not just feeling of
security and happiness. About this time I was able to be a part of a group of young teens that
were mentally and/or physically disabled. Once a week this (female) case worker came over
for home visits to help with problems at home, but with the female only caused more hell,
which resulted in her not wanting to do visits anymore. During this time also, in the group was
someone who was disabled from the waist down that did wear diapers, which at that point I
learned about adult diapers and wanted them bad. Which at that time I did have an
allowance, so I did my work to find out where I can get these adult diapers. Finally at a K-Mart
I found them, which I took home and hid them.
By 13 or so I was no longer with this program since it was ending, so I was back on my own
and my diaper comfort, which also made feel like being anti-social to keep others away and
fell more in love with the diapers at home. Soon I found the Internet and found a way to get
better ones shipped, so I did that and paid by money order, since I was able to work of doing
papers and eventually an actual job by age 16. In high school I did not socialize outside
school or work, because that was my time and comfort area in life with the diapers. When I
did socialize outside those areas I did act out to repel them or would tell them too personal
info to do the same. Doing this kept me feeling safe inside so I do not feel or deal with the
issues within me. Having only a few friends was fine with me but even with them they did not
socialize much.
Between ages of 16 to 19, I was in my high school years, by this time I became very
knowledgeable of diapers themselves and where to get them, along with prices. Obtaining this
level of knowledge and having the diapers as a good part of my life. By this time I would not
leave the diapers for home only, but would wear them publicly. By this time I was beginning
the life of a diaper addict. Diapers and finding sites online of showing adult women in diapers,
which pulled me more into the addiction. Closer to age 19, I moved out on my own and that
just enabled me to live my double life, where I was the addict at home and being the good
church boy at church.
Also at that time I viewed nothing wrong of being on the computer/Internet constantly at
home. With being on the computer this much I became really anti-social with my time after
work. While I moved out I was working in nursing home, but the diaper addiction cost me the
job pretty much. Even when that happened I was so blind-sided of how bad I was living with
this addiction. In the midst of this I was usually was spending about 200 to 300 a month
between diapers and online memberships to pay sites. Usually also I tried to maintain about
30 diapers at all times, if I got lower than that I would get more soon as I could either from the
store or online.
After living on my own for about a year I decided to move to attend school. Well when I began
to live there my lifestyle grew deeper and took more risks with it. Eventually I was homeless
while attending school, luckily someone offered me a place to stay temporarily, well when I got
my first pay check from this job it went for diapers first before I would get food or anything I
actually needed. In my mind at that time long as I had the diapers and plenty of them I was
fine, even if I did not have much food. Eventually I was kicked out of school due to my
addiction and asked to leave.
With losing so much now I did attend treatment with a great psychologist, he took the time to
understand who I was and helped me deal with the issues I have suppressed all these years.
After about 2 or so years of treatment I can balance life with diapers without having them take
over my life like they used to. Along with seeing this psychologist I have learned I had 4
different disorders that I can manage without taking a pill. Again being social is still
challenging for me to begin conversations with anyone, which was one of the indications that I
had what was called Aspergers Syndrome, this is on the autism spectrum.
Finally I can say I am finally happily married with a great woman that accepts me of all my
past and issues/disorders. Also we do share the desire to wear diapers, she got to try it with
me and enjoy it. Now if any of you have questions, feel free to ask me
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1 Response Nov 26, 2012

Thanks for sharing. I'm certainly glad that you found perspective and balance. The desire for diapers is a strong one for many of us.