A (delicious) Cognitive Dissonance....

i am a feminist. i support feminist causes. i believe the patriarchy is one of the reasons our culture and our politics are so screwed up. i believe in equal pay for equal work. i believe miniskirts and high heels have never committed rape, and never will. Criminals do. i am opposed to the objectification of women. i don't believe any woman should be judged by how she looks, what she wears, or who she is married to. i believe every woman has the right to choose what she does with her own body. i am all for breaking down the barriers that promote male privilege and entitlement, at the expense of female equality and freedom.
i believe these things, and i believe them strongly. i believe societies succeed when everybody has a stake in the outcome, and are treated fairly. Socially, politically and culturally, i believe that women are the equal to men, in every way.

Why then, do i need, like i need to breathe, a man to own me?

i'm not just using a metaphor, here. It's not just some occasional sexual fantasy.This isn't only an attraction to strong, Alpha, type A Males. (although there is that!). i want Him to own me, completely. Own my body. Own my mind. i want to live under His rules, and His discipline. i need to obey Him, in all things, at all times. i am His to use. To abuse. To punish. All as He sees fit. i exist to serve Him, and fulfill His needs. i want to be overwhelmed by His superior strength, by His Masculinity. Guided by His decisions, and follow His lead. i want Him to know that i am, at all times, His property. And whenever He chooses, His ****. His obedient *****.
The conflict between my social views and my private needs is delicious. i am an intelligent, well read, capable woman. i have ideas and opinions. i am culturally well rounded, and can appreciate opera and art as much as a dirty dive bar, or a punk rock show. i can converse intelligently on many subjects. i expect any intelligent man to appreciate that, and to enjoy and respect my humor, wit, smarts, and ability to communicate intelligently, and to have fun.
Then why, when i look at Him, in his masculine magnificence, is it that all i can think about is Him throwing me over His knee and spanking the crap out of me, until i cry, then ordering me to get on my knees and suck his ****?

i don't know. But it's all so delicious. :-)

melissa0859 melissa0859
51-55, F
6 Responses Sep 22, 2012

There's no incongruity here. I'm the same. I made my own choice. The big wide world is not the same as your private relationship.

cognitive dissonance indeed..i understand..you are not so unique in your dichotomy.
i have found my most rewarding relationships involved domination of very intelligent, strong, independent women.
i think its because it requires more work, it requires a higher level of seduction. but once achieved that level of seduction is the precise reason why i own them...because they wholeheartedly gave themselves to me.. their submission is a gift..one i treasure..but not as a relic to be put away for storage..a gift i use everyday..to my benefit and hers..i have earned her...trust..unconditional love..honest communication of ur deepest thoughts..beautiful as well as shameful and dirty..ur two parts come together..as one..exist in peace..make sense..no confusion..it feels right.
permission to be the horny **** u are for me..and enjoy it..lose urself in it..
all the while knowing ur actually respected for ur strength and intelligence...i see it all.
look at me...i look at you...i see u
tears as i spank ur ***..u bet
domination selfish?..i don't think so..when im using u all my attention is focused on u
u are the center of my universe as i am urs.
sexual tension and release so powerful..u cant deny it..u crave it like a drug, ur wet ***** always betrays u and displays proof of ur passion for this.
but look at me..sometimes...tears..of happiness and joy and overpowering emotion.
with just a long gaze..i see u ..maybe for the first time in ur life someone sees u.
all of you..everything.good bad..past present ..future..dreams hopes fears..kinky sexual desires...not just unconditional acceptance and love,
but upon seeing evry part of u..this man came to the conclusion that ur so special and beautiful, he wanted u...so much ..to own u use u..experience u..teach u..grow with u.

that he wanted to make u his....how can u not submit..and u did..my ultimate domination is in u knowing i own u ...cause u gave me u.
cause i earned it and deserve it.
love in the dirtiest and kinkiest raw sexual moments
and in the most tender and intimate moments..u can always feel my passion and sexual desire for u.
u feel more beautiful and sexier than ever.
the mere thought of me becomes comforting like a warm long hug.
no wonder u need this like u need to breathe.
u dont need a man to own u..u need ur master to.
all the cognitive dissonance gone..with one look into ur eyes
i see u
all of u
ur mine...i own u
now u are urself for the first time
on ur knees and submissive..yet sronger.smarter.happier than ever

Yikes! :-/

Wow. I can't believe what I just read! You're a woman with whom I can relate.(there are few) I too am a feminist. You've defined those ideals perfectly, and you've also managed to nail down exactly how I feel privately as well. However, not until this late stage in life, did I realize how much I wanted and needed an Alpha male in my life. When I met my bf, he completely 'turned me out'!

I'm an educated, sophisticated, well-traveled creative woman, who's also a mother. I can go from the "ball room to the bucket" as my man likes to say. I can get dressed up in an evening gown and talk with physicians and politicians, yet get down and dirty, with the messiest of projects, and hang out in 'the hood' and be just as happy. Just coming out of a long failed marriage, I thought I needed another uptight, educated type, who couldn't 'handle' me, but along came my Love: all man, street smart, wise, yet polished and kind. I gave him a hell of a time in the beginning. I'd never met a man like him...one who wasn't afraid of my strength, and 'goddess' power.

He dominates me in the bedroom. There, I'm his *****! And I love it!!! Outside of that arena, I'm his Queen, and I've never been happier. He's also somewhat dominant outside of the br, but in a supportive, guiding kind of way. He's always firm, but respectful, and he loves me. The more I submit to him, the happier I am, and the more I enjoy our lovemaking as well. Yes, a "delicious cognitive dissonance"! Well put.

I could say a lot more...

I added you to my circle! Looking forward to reading more of your posts!

Still unsure?


Thank you!
I have found that we find nothing when we are so occupied with looking for it, for we miss all the beauty and wonder in the people and places around us. Let go, stop trying so hard to be something, and simply take it all in. Remember, the atoms that make up you were once part of a faraway star that exploded in an awe-inspiring supernova. Those same atoms make up your mind, and hence, your consciousness. We aren't just in the Universe, we are OF the Universe. Let go, and balance will find you.

I like you..you have found a balance in your life, and you make no apologies for it. I too am independent....but I have yet to find my balance.