The Goose That Pucked

My life is full of events that could only happen to me. Usually these events are circumstances beyond my control. This event was gross and digusting but funny after it was over.  I acquired a goose from a friend that was moving to the city and had to get rid of it, so I allowed this goose to stay at my farm.  The goose was raised around dogs and it actually thinks it is a dog.  I was petting and playing with the dogs and the goose apparently got jealous and the goose started looking at me all wierd like and it was getting closer to me.  Usually the goose just walks around and quacks until we throw the dumb bird some bread and then it shuts up, but on this day the goose was eyeballing me.  I notice the goose from my peripheral vision and it started getting closer, as I was petting the dogs the goose kept looking at me, but still kept distance, but would edge closer and closer, then all of a sudden the goose lowered its head and charged at me like a raging bull with rabies and when I looked up all I saw was a long gooseneck and an ugly goose bill that was snapping ferosciously at me. I jumped up just in time to duck(excuse the pun) and grab its neck with one hand and then I tucked the goose under my other arm. I looked at the goose and told the goose," are you crazy, I will eat you for dinner" the duck knew I had an upper hand in the situation, then as I had a hold of its neck so it wouldnt bite me, it turned his head toward me and vomited all over me.  This proved to be very effective for me to release the death grip I had on the goose.  Well, thats about the end of this story, I wont go into detail on how yucky the puke was or how awfull it stank.   
chrismark61 chrismark61
36-40, M
Dec 14, 2012