I have had this fetish forever and it scared me for a long time , I so badly wanted to be "normal". But I have come to terms that this is my normal. It makes my happy to see my new pants won't button or my shirt is too short now. I feel almost hyper aware of my weight noticing every little bit of fat that comes onto my body. With very pound I gain the happier i am and the more confident with my body I feel. I have no goal as of right now, but I think that's exciting too, not knowing how far I'll go with this.