Teaching Younger Or Inexperienced Women How To Enjoy Sex And Sexuality. Part 1

I teach advanced massage therapy courses all over the country and as the years have gone by, many of my female students have asked me for further more detailed lessons in the bedroom.

More and more people, both men and women want to be able to enjoy sex more fully and this is one of the ways to do it. Everyone likes a massage, but have you ever really experienced a truly sensual Erotic massage?

By studying the human body and the sensual arts your sexual experiences are enhanced beyond your belief. You will begin to awaken your Erotic awareness and abilities.

The first thing that is absolutely mandatory is very simple:

Most women will never experience true release with the average male partner, the men either just aren't willing to put in the work, or don't even have a clue of what that work could be. I love sharing myself with my lover, I love making her feel that she is a goddess and that every part of her body is worthy of worship.

Most men unfortunately have no grasp of this concept, except for one thing, in & out, done, sleep now. . .

Women, your bodies are works of art, and that is how a man, a real man must approach his woman, and conversely how a real woman, must approach her man.

Having sex is much more than having sex, there is such an art to it. We all enjoy the kind of sex where you can hardly wait to get each others clothes off. That's fun once in a while.

But there is another type that goes way beyond the "hurry up and get it done mode" this is what I teach and practice.

It involves knowing your partners body and making love to every part of it.

Depending on where I am, I like to start with the kiss, I love to kiss her face, her lips, her eyes, breathe into her ear, give tiny bites and whispers to her. Breathe in the perfume of her hair, massage her scalp, especially the back of her head with the tips of my nails, massage her neck, hold her face as we kiss deeply, as I feel her begin to melt, and if done right she will, I start to massage her back and shoulders.

This is where most guys make their mistake, they're in too much of a hurry.
Her body is the most amazing instrument in the world and believe me, it takes a man to realize this, no boy.

You know what they say, "One boy is a boy, two boys are half a boy, and three boys are no boy at all."

Boys know only one thing, how to get their rocks off.

They don't understand subtlety, hell, most of them don't even know the word. Unfortunately, most men never go beyond the boy stage. And since most women never get to experience what it's like to make love with a knowledgeable, competent, patient man they will often feel that there is something missing in their erotic experiences.

Many women have issues as well, they have been taught that their bodies are sinful, dirty, objects of lust and desire which must be avoided at all costs. Look at the religious faithful around the world, are any of them discussing this topic? Can you imagine discussing this with your priest or pastor?

The human body is capabale of giving and receiving so much pleasure, more that most people can imagine.

Let's return to the first point:

"The human body is absolutely beautiful, anywhere and everywhere. If you can believe this fully then your first step is already done. If you feel that any part of the body is dirty or ugly, then the chances of experiencing the full range of human sexuality will be beyond your grasp."

If you cant conceive or believe in this concept then you've got some work to do before you can go further. If you don't believe that every part of your partner is the most amazing beautiful sight you've ever seen then, well, you're just not ready.

Now, back to your lover. As you've begun to please her, you can tell that three things are happening simultaneously:

1. She has begun to relax, you may notice that her breathing is deeper
and her skin is now warm or even hot to the touch.

2. As she relaxes he body begins to open, unfold, expand and reveal her
hidden erotic powers and abilities.

3. She begins to trust in you and your own erotic power and ability. The
trust is the key, without trust the lock doesn't open.

Your touch, your words, your own confidence begins to give her the ability to experience her own body, and as she begins to feel her sensual side awakening, she gives that back as a sigh, gentle moan, a more demanding kiss, or deeper embrace. This is the real beginning of ******, from here the shared experience begins to heighten for both partners in a duet where each feeds off and from the others energy.

One moment for an important concept that you must keep foremost in your mind:


If you don't believe this, then you can never convey it. The act itself is beautiful and fulfilling even without love. Love enhances beautiful sex, but it isn't required. What is required is the desire to please and serve whatever sexual partner you are with, and you cannot do this if you are hung up about the body, or if you put your own sexual pleasure first. The result of this is that your own sexual pleasure will be rewarded and enhanced beyond any measure that you thought possible.

Another point is equally important and that is to "listen" really listen to her, and that doesn't mean just with your ears. Listen with your touch, your sight, your sense of smell, your eyes, and finally your heart.

When you listen in this way, many heretofor micro secrets will be revealed. It's the listening that lets you know when to procede to the next step, and the micro secrets begin to expand in waves of pleasure that washes ever more powerfully through her mind, body, heart and spirit.

If you've done your work properly you'll find that she will either be already taking off her clothes, or asking you to do it for her, both of these are perfectly acceptable.

Sometimes when you have a more advanced sexual partner she/he will know the proper way to remove their clothing. It's a very beautiful and incredibly erotic moment. Maybe the most erotic of all, because she is revealing her beautiful body to you, enticing you, inviting you to share her charms.

Now ladies, here's a moment for you. If you're not skilled at this then start watching some soft core erotic videos or film. You'll notice that I don't use the words; ****, dirty movies, ****, etc. . . those words were conceived by men who thought that sex was something filthy only to be used to make babies. The time of that kind of thinking is over for people like us who love sex, and want to share this most precious of human gifts with other like minded souls. We know that sex is beautiful and always keep it that way in our minds and hearts.

So pick out some erotica where you can learn the proper way to reveal yourself to your partner. As you do this, put yourself into his heart, mind and soul. Feel his eyes upon you as you subtly reveal yourself to him, this in itself requires practice.

Think about it, could you ride a bike with skill the first time you tried? Have you ever gotten on a surfboard for the first time? You slip off, flounder, have no balance, turn over, and that's just learning how to paddle, much less ride a wave.

I'm trying to say, be patient with yourself, practice in front of a mirror, learn what lighting is most pleasing and comfortable for you. Go to Victoria's secret, Frederick's, LingerieDiva, or any store you feel comfortable with, take your time, try on different items that work best with your body. When you get them home, practice alone at first until you feel comfortable with yourself and your lingerie.

It's also good to take a class in erotic dancing, or pole dancing, and of course yoga, which is a must for everyone.

All of these activities put you more in touch with your own body and it's likes and desires.

What we have to remember is that erotica is something that needs to be learned and developed like any other skill, the great thing about it is that you enjoy no matter what level you're at! But by learning these skills it changes everything in your life.

A person who is developed in Erotic arts is different from other people, they carry themselves in a different way, you want to look at them because they've tapped into the most beautiful and powerful of all human attributes.

I was watching a show on the Discovery channel, it was about the female ******, it was so fascinating, they went into so many different aspects of the ******, not only for women, but for men as well.

The part that most stuck in my mind is when they had a person come to ****** in a full body scan MRA. There was this amazing activity in the brain that one only achieved in ******, and they said when you share an ****** something incredible occurs; it's for lack of a better word, a kind of shadow that appears in a certain area of the brain, and this is a good shadow.

This shadow will be the place that you return to in you next ******, and each time you do so the experience will become greater and more powerful.

It's kind of like walking through a field that has obstacles and tall weeds with no path at all, each time you walk through that field, your path will become easier and easier to tread.

This is what happens as you begin your erotic journey of development, you'll begin to experience sensations not only in your body, but you mind and heart as well. These are the kind of experiences that keep a couple together for a lifetime, and when you open yourself up you find that every part of the opening process is beautiful, exciting, seductive and stimulating.

This is fun isn't it? Just talking, reading or thinking about sex can be so pleasing for us as human beings. I bet you can't wait to actually experience what it's like to really feel this aspect of your life?

Remember it's best to learn these things from an accomplished experienced lover, I know this isn't always available, so if you're doing this on your own, make sure to involve your partner, so you are both developing these Erotic skills simultaneously. This is very important, because if one partner wants to experience this part of themselves, then you would quickly leave the other behind. Now what fun would that be?

So, we've gotten to the point where your lover is either inviting your to remove her clothing or practicing her seductive art of revealing herself bit by bit to you.

I like to have the massage table all set up, with a very comfortable warm room, *(if the room isn't warm enough, then she'll be uncomfortable and not able to relax).

As she reveals herself to me, I like to give her compliments on her beauty, often reaching out to her, pulling her close for more kisses and gentle massage of her body, your touches should be gentle and comforting, but at the same time sensual and awakening.

This is the end of Part 1, if you want more, just ask . . .

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1 Response Nov 29, 2012

Hi, I have enjoyed your article and it would be very interesting and helpful to read so more. John