"Autumn smells great because everything is dying. " - Rimbaud's quote came across my mind while I was stepping on colorful dead leaves. Even though its an end of the season, its also a sensational beauty to see nature going to sleep.
I thought how amazing it was; to be covered with soft and cold shell, to stop the time for a few months and then give birth to flowers in still icy spring.

Even though everything was ending, there was one thing that had a fresh start: my freshman year at university of literature and history of art. At first I was terrified and had about 89 different scenarios about not being able to blend in and being laughed at but what I saw was completely different from my high school nightmare. Small groups of people chatting around the main building, few of them went to nearest tree to lay on the grass and watch the sky and some of them sat alone so they could draw or read. It was truly different, peaceful.

When the bell rang everyone went inside, we had to go to amphitheater to get a welcome from our new dean and then follow the program that older students prepared for us. After a mile long speech that he prepared the program started. We were lectured about the history of out university and what should we do to keep up with good grades, we were also talking about our time outside the uni and where is the best place to study. As the older students finished the program we had to get up and introduce ourselves to them by telling our name, how old are we and what do we like and some of our hobbies. Let me tell you something: I thought I was going to die.
Because my last name starts with A I had to go first and I looked pretty tragic.

"Um. Hello. My name is Ryan, I am 19 years old. I like art and nature. My hobbies are: painting, reading and photography." - successes!

They clapped after each student finished and that was the most idiotic thing someone could do to frightened students!
Everything else went just fine, I even met 2 friends on our first class: History of Art by (everyone called her) Madam Abadie.
I was pretty excited and happy about it, everything seemed to fit perfectly.

Since our first day was on Friday (? I don't know why ?) it was normal for us to go outside and have fun. Drink a few liters, smoke a few joints, take 1 or 2 pills and then come home feeling better than ever before. Since I already knew some people in this town I called them and somehow we went to gay bar.
After a few drinks and their "cheering" for my new life an unknown boy approached me. "Hey, you are a freshman at our uni, aren't you?" - he shook my hand. "Hey, well since today I officially am. I can see that the whole uni is here..."
"Hahaha don't be a stereotype even though you are right. Is this is your first time in a gay bar? You look anxious."
"Mhm." - I nodded and smiled.
"Okay let me buy you a drink and we can go outside because you can't smoke here."

I watched how he walked and ordered drinks for us. It was as almost as this bar was his natural habitat, he glided through crowd waving at everyone, he spoke softly yet friendly, smiling and hugging anyone who would come closer to him.
He was also a really good looking guy: tall and muscular with small beard and tattoos covering his arms. He had short hair and his clothes were nice and clean.
We were outside with two bottles of beer standing a few centimeters from each other. "Oh yeah, my name is Noel."-he smiled.
"Nice to meet you Noel, my name is Ryan."
"So Ryan what are you exactly looking for in a guy? Don't get me wrong I'm not a pervert or something."
"I'm not sure. I guess I'm attracted to whats inside a human being but lately I feel like a bag of meat that has a title: Use me, I'm free."
"Oh, I didn't hear that in a long time. Hypersensitive or you had your heart broken?" - he stared at me.
I remembered my artists and how I tried to build a wall that will protect me for being hurt again: "Nobody breaks my heart." - I smiled
Since that sentence made awkward silence I knew something had to be done. I had to keep a friend and he was really nice!
"Would you like to share a spliff with me?" - I took the spliff from bag and offered it to him.
"Hahaha I didn't expect this. Sure!"

After we smoked it and drank beer, we took another one and we talked and laughed for ours.

"So Ryan did you ever had sex?" -his face was red from laughing
"Ha-ha and no. I only did frottage and kissing. And don't laugh idiot!"- I threw a branch on him.
"I'm sorry hahaha its just strange to find a virgin these days." "Hey, you want to come to my place? Its too cold outside but I enjoy talking to you. "
"Sure but I have to be home at 4 am."

His apartment was beautiful. Vintage with a touch of Indian and African style. I sat on his bed and we continued our talk.
"I don't get one thing Ryan. Why are you single? And oh, -he held another spliff-, would you like to, I mean can you?"

"I'm not sure. My mom once told me that I destroy everything I touch and yeah I can, don't underestimate me just because I am a freshman!" - we laughed as he sat next to me and gave me his perfectly shaped spliff.
" I'm still confused, why would she say that and why would you feel guilty about pleasure?" -he held my knee.
Suddenly, I felt an onrush of emotions, I felt like I can trust him and a strange feeling that he can break my wall that I was building for so long.

"I'm ****** up." - I smiled

With pity in his eyes and his hand holding mine I thought about leaving. I got up: "I'm sorry, it was really nice of you to invite me here. We can talk some other time if you'd like."
"Ryan wait."
And before I got to open the bedroom door I found myself pressed against them with his arm holding them like there was something bad behind them.
He kissed me. "Please stay. I won't do anything bad to you." I threw my bag and jumped on his hips in a kiss that seemed like a heaven to me. He walked to bed and laid with me underneath him. I wrapped my legs around his hips with my hands pulling his head closer to my lips. His took his shirt off and I took mine, we kissed and then we took our pants off. We rubbed together and I felt how his abs glided on my slim stomach, our bulges getting harder and the warmth of his legs that where tangled with mine. He kissed my neck, my collarbones, my nipples, my stomach and then went to kiss the last part. "Noel, I'm still not ready for that I'm sorry." He nodded and smiled while pulling me up in a kiss. He laid down and now I was on top of him. We humped for a while and with a help of our hand we came, I fell into his arms and we both breathed heavily. "I'm sorry for...." - I touched that mess I left on his stomach.
"Don't be." - we kissed.

"****! Its 4 and I'm late, again! I have to go I'm sorry." - in a rush I cleaned myself and went to the front door.
"See you tomorrow? I'll wait for you at park near our university at 2 pm. Why don't you give me your number btw?"
"You probably won't but okay."
"I will." - he kissed me.

While I was walking I thought about this night. Is it luck or is it a curse? What will happen next? Am I prepared for the outcome? I lit a cigarette and watched the fast clouds hiding the sky from my site. Suddenly my phone rang. It was a message: "Thank you for tonight Ryan, I really like you and if you feel the same please be there tomorrow. Noel"

"Oh Ryan, here you are, running away not fall in love but somehow the outcome is completely opposite." - I sat on a bench and smiled because somehow I knew there was another thing being born in this sleepy and deadly autumn.
4e3w2q1 4e3w2q1
22-25, M
8 Responses Sep 18, 2013

beautiful as canadian fall season

Love that story - really sensitive and honest

Nice! Beautiful imagery!

Absolutely delicious...sensual...emotional...and very hot! Let's chat sometime. Okay?

What a wonderful, enjoyable story!

mmmm yummm i need some nice **** on **** bad

hey if you love frottage you need to join free then it's a frottage networking community

Beautiful story - love to be your friend