I Don't Want a Crowd!

I have had the bad luck of being "popular" and surrounded by a crowd of people, two years ago. It was a nightmare! So many people, in this crowd, wanted me to entertain them, make them laugh and forget their troubles. So, here I was, being the clown for one corner of the room. Others wanted me to be the shoulder for them to cry on, with any and all crisis that came up in their lives. So, in this corner, I was the amateur therapist. Then there were a lot who wanted to claim friendship over me, so they could brag that they were close friends with me. So, in this third corner, I was the trophy! And finally, there were those who needed me to buy them things only... So in this last corner, I was the bank.

Finally, I had a break-down, from trying to be everything that everyone wanted me to be. I asked for kindness and expressed how hurt I was, with everyone using me. I needed someone to talk to and be my amateur therapist. I needed someone to cheer me up, and be the clown for a change! And when I cried in front of this group, that's when people turned over tables in their haste to flee, pouring through the doors and running away into the night. The party was over. :-/

So, this is why I like a small group of friends. It's easier for me to tell who are my friends and who is just simply hanging around, because they got some strange idea that I'm the "popular kid". Which reminds me! I will be Spring-cleaning my circle very soon! :-D

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1 Response Mar 15, 2009

WOW-- this was very enlightening for me. You are very couragous and brave for doing this.<br />
Being popular is full of its heirs and graces but there are the downsides that you have described.<br />
Having a breakdown must have been very hard on you and i am sorry for that, but im sure from that expereience you found out who your true friends are. I only give out what i am going to get in return so that way i know that people arnt going to be coming at me from left-right & centre with their problems and invites for parties or boyfriend troubles ect. Ive learnt to figure out who is trying to use me and who really wants a friendship. I hope the clear out in your circle brings you some clarity =] x