Wanna Go?

Wanna go hiking?  I foolishly asked my brother.  
It was cool at the time.  We were working for the same company.  The work was kinda seasonal, so you worked your *** off all winter while staying in camps, then did nothing all spring till the ground dried up.  It gave you about a month with cash in the bank and no commitments.  Those two combined can equal some very dumb decisions.
Sure he said.  Where?  I told him what I wanted to do.  A medium or so level hike in the mountains.  While talking to him another friend came along.  "Whacha do'in?" He asked.
"Going hiking.  3 day trip"  Was my reply.
"I'm in." And so our party of 3 was complete.
At the time I was like, 19 or 20.  A hard cold winter had me in the best shape of my life.  The hike was gonna be easy.  I was stoked.  However in my excitement I forgot to size up my fellow hikers.  Beer bellies, alcoholics, and zero sense of the scope of what lay ahead.
I love Costco.  In one visit we had our backpacks, tent, sleeping bags, ramen noodles and a family pack of *** wipe.  32 rolls of some premium brand of butt beautifier for a 3 day trip.  I know, that sounds retarded  but it saved us allot of hardship later.  We also stopped and picked up some other groceries, and safety stuff like bear scarers .
Here was mistake #1... #2 if you count the people I decided to go with.  We bought all this stuff on the way to the mountains.  Heres a tip kids.  Make sure you prepack so you know before hand what will fit in your pack, what wont fit, and how heavy its gonna be.  
So we get to base camp at th trailhead.  We start packing our packs.  Bro puts on the brand new not broke in shoes he just bought, buddy fills his pack with a sleeping bag, a couple changes of clothes and beer.... I told him he couldn't take beer because it was too heavy.  He asked me if I had ever seen him go anywhere without beer.... I never have.  And apparently I wouldn't today either.  Bro wasn't much better.  He packed some clothes, sleeping bag, some food, a 40 of rye and a 2 liter of coke.  I was gonna tell him not to bring it because its too heavy, but then I thought back to the convo I had with the other guy and the same stuff applied.  So I just shut up and packed my own.
I'm already to go, sizing up the work ahead of us when I feel someone fiddling with my pack.  "What are you doing?" I asked.  " packing the bacon" was the reply.  I din't want to carry bacon because we were going into grizzly territory, and bacon seems like one of those things that would attract big critters.  They said I had to carry it because I was already the fastest, so by smelling tasty it gave us equal chances of escape should something come after us.  Dumb logic yes, but logic all the same so it stayed. And off we went.
A mile later they are done. Bro has blisters from new shoes, buddy has a back ache from lugging around the beers not yet drank.  Its taken us about 2 hours to get that far and 19 more to go.  5 miles till our first camp.  Half the bear scarers are gone from them shooting them over my head in a valiant attempt to scare the hell out of me.  At least now I'm not worried about bears.  After all those bangs there would be no critters for miles.
Somehow we make it to camp without anybody having a heart attack.  Thing are looking up.  There is a waterfall down a side trail I want to check out so off we go.  Its now late morning and the weather is fine.  Off we go making much better time.  We left the packs behind and nothing could stop us.  We were laughing and joking as we splashed through the ice cold creeks on the way to the falls,  Three little creeks to be exact.  On the way to the falls there is a "Y" in the road.  One to the falls, the other to our destination the next day.... That trail is a disaster.  Horses trecking through during midweek rain storms have turned it into a barnyard.  Mud and **** 2ft deep.  Thinking that allot of that could lie ahead, we decide that we are bailing on the rest of the main hike and continue to the falls. Its a long long walk.
Heres the thing about waterfalls.  You get to them, oooh and aww at the water doing what water does... (falling when not supported by something.  Such as a riverbed or a cup).... and then they become boring.  We munch on some jerky and make our way back.  And then the trouble started.
By now its mid afternoon.  The hottest part of the day.  The trickling streams from mid morning are now raging rivers.  Where before we were jumping from rock to rock so as not to get our toes wet, there is now no rock.  Just water.  White water.  Glacier fed, 4C, white water.  I am not a happy dude.  Somehow my cohorts and I make it across them all.  It was one of the few times when my mongrel group actually thought with clear heads.  We buddy systemed across the water.  Using, I think a tree to hold onto as each person worked there way across.  Back at camp we are frozen bros feet are actually blue from the water.  We need a fire quick.  But all the deadfall is so picked over from the last group to go through what ca we do?
Asswipe.  If you light the center of a roll, it burns for a long time.  Being so tightly wound it doesn't burn all at once.  So here is us three big guys huddled around a little *** wipe fire.  I'm sooo glad no one came around to see that.  We even cooked our ramen noodles over it in our little camp pot.
This is about the time we decided to say " **** camping"  We packed up our stuff and made our way back to the truck.  6 miles out took just as long as going in.  We were tired, we were cold.  Then it started to rain.  No, we were not happy campers.  Back at the truck we decide to eat before heading out.  Buddy pulls steaks out of his pack... Who takes steaks hiking?  Anyway, they looked tasty.  By now its like 10pm or something.  The campsite dude that goes around selling firewood is nowhere to be seen.  We scrounge around empty sites and find enough to cook our food but its all soaking wet.  What to do?  Thats right.  Asswipe.  A nice little bonfire of premium whiteness.  Enough to dry the wood and get a real fire going.  Though we cooked them in the dark, they were the best steaks I ever had.  Probably because we were starving and anything warm was a blessing from heaven.
My dream hiking trip turned into 3 drunk guys sleeping in the cab of a pickup 200 miles from home.  But one of my most memorable hiking trips ever.
*side note.  The pic in my album of me foolishly jumping into white water was from that trip.  It was a first day, everything going good in the sun before things went bad kinda moment.

Firegod74 Firegod74
31-35, M
4 Responses Aug 13, 2011

You know what? I don't think I do. I have never gone on a long trip where something odd hasn't happened. Or maybe they are just that forgettable? That probably it.

LMAO Do you ever have any non-eventful trips? I mean i'm glad you don't because I love hearing about all your adventures.

In addition we never checked in with the park service like we were supposed to. Turns out there were streams further up that would have been impossible. And grizzlies were spotted along the trail.<br />
So many lessons learned for the next time.