North Of 160

My wife's IQ is above 160 and while most would feel that is a great thing to have and it is, there is a downside of them never forgetting anything you ever say or do. It's like being videoed and recorded the entire time.
36-40, M
21 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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Me too

Duh what does that mean u don't like me

I'd rather be stupid. I don't know my IQ. I know it is just a test and that most people don't understand what it is measuring. Being smart won't make you happier. It's probably more of a burden.

I don't quiet get the down side of high (IQ) Are we suggesting here low is just enough? I am open to learn .

I have no idea what my wife's IQ is but it must be up there considering her academic achievements. She too remembers all the fine details when she wants to make a key point. But I am the person who finds her car keys all the time. We get along perfectly fine - 35yrs married. We have the most stimulating conversations and projects. Physical intimacy and sex is great too -- whenever the stars line up perfectly.

I'm fabulously intelligent and have a gorgeous memory. And I greatly enjoy that.

And it has little to do with being smart in a social context. So rather than accept you have to be consistent or judged with all you do - rejoice that you are imperfect in an imperfect world - as is she.

Either you add value to each other, and can explore each other's worlds, or not.

i could not have said it better. Now all we have to do is put it into our working lives and live it out.

Thank you! We'll said :)

Thanks for all of the kind words. I will read and reread all of these to help myself formulate a better response to how I interact with her. I am pretty sharp myself and I have been use to being the smartest. Now I'm learning my limitations and to stay within my own limits of what I know verses what I think I know. I can BS with the best of them by gleening just a small amount of info on any topic. I can't do that with her. She is like my own personal auto correct. The only thing that she does repeatedly to me that gets me is correct my english. I am from the south and while I don't sound too southern, I do use a lot of the slang often. I don't mind being corrected alone but in front of others breaks me hard.

Be patient, gentle and calm but firm - continue to help her manage her gifts. Help her be gentle and kind to herself and others. Refused to let yourself be bullied - this one is up to you more than her.

I agree 100% about the bullying part. That part is up to me.

The last time they tested me I came out with an IQ of 183. The number can be of little importance if one does not use the gift given. I have a rather Eidetic memory but not a carbon copy memory. I can say I feel sympathy for those who remember EVERYTHING, because eventually theres no more space in the bank.

Daniel I wouldn't really say that it is IQ related, women tend to remember tiny little details of everything unlike men, especially when she is not pleased with something. I have a pretty high IQ too but memory is not related to IQ at all. For example: - My husband and I had a house guest for a good three months and by the end of the second month she had started vying for my husband's attention, pretending that I was the "other woman". My husband, of course, ignored her but I remember everything she said and did.

It's a double whammy. She is the best of both or worst depending how you see it. She is also a gorgeous woman. The one thing that hurts her is that she doesn't understand that men are attracted to women like her. Especially at the work place. She is upset when she discovers that they are physically attracted to her and that is what starts it. I told her that men are just like that for the most part. She is so oblivious to it that trouble happens more times than not and I have to show her the signs. Then she sees it and is hurt that they were "only" interested in her looks.

Just like you I have also been used to being the sharpest knife in the tool box but my husband is a shade smarter than me and I know exactly how you feel. I also tell him when women are hitting on him and though he's not naive he believes women will not hit on a married man... til I proved him wrong. At least now he knows too. I guess no matter how smart you are there'll always be something that misses the observant eye-for-detail. ;)

While she is keen on seeing things like that. I am keen on the nuances that people have. I know when people are lying and can see where and what people are doing. I've been experienced since a young boy about people. Especially when it's bad. My mother married 8 times. Each time she cheated. Each time I knew something was going on as soon as it happened. Little changes in attitude or habits. I see the same in my wife. While I feel that she knows when men are hitting on her, she acts as if she has no idea. I told her to be as smart as she is she certainly has predators get awful chummy and close without the realization of their intent. I think it's an attention thing in part.

From my experience (and I don't mean to stereotype here) most attractive women bask in any sort of attention and also play naive. I had this woman stay in our house for three months (fortunately not all at once but spread out over weeks with short breaks) and the way she behaved in front of my husband was truly appalling. Non-stop flirting, low cleavages, short skirts, provocative actions, she was hungry for attention. She even went to the extent of making me feel like I was the "other" woman. Then I lost it and told her she was never welcome in our house again. There are men/ women like this who just thrive on attention or seek it knowingly or unknowingly. Always trust your instincts on everything, that's usually the only thing that's right.

Exactly. My wife once asked a man that was opening attracted to her about whether or not she should get breast surgery. He was overwhelmed and wrote her many times talking about how he saw her. She saw it as innocent at first then didn't want to hurt his feelings by stopping the back and forth. I intervened and told him to go away in the nicest way possible. He got the point. I have had several things like this happen to me with her. Every time her being "surprised" by their advances.

Just like my husband. Some women (in my personal experiences) just want to prey and see how far they can push it. My husband, of course, is extremely loyal but I do the intervening to the point of being called a ***** but hey! what's mine is mine and I can protect it however I deem fit. I admit my retort to that is not very ladylike. Most times men know how far they can push their luck but ladies always want to take it one step further (most times). I, personally, would never flirt or seek attention with any other man knowing I married the one I love.

Sounds like your experience is almost exactly like my own. I have had several others along this line that have greatly complicated my marriage with her.

Same here! This woman who stayed with us almost wrecked my marriage. Attention seeking drama queen. The trouble I had getting things back was crazy.

Well my wife loves attention. She doesn't think she does but myself and most of her close friends agree that she does. I like that at times. My problem is that some of the attention she has drawn has caused intimacy issues with us that are still present. It's one of the reasons I have been drawn to this site to be able to talk about it more.

So sorry for the delayed response, I had no free time to log in. Well so did this woman... my husband is naive and most times hates drawing attention to him. Some women crave it and will do anything for it. I really want to talk about my experience with this woman and hopefully no one else has the same experience I did. It's just wrong! No one should have to go through this.

Agreed. It hurts and it hurts deeper than our spouses realize.

I think my husband is slowly realizing what this woman was trying to do. The more he interacts with her, the more he can see she is just a bimbo. Lol! I guess there does come a time when you know you were wrong and even though you don't say it, you subtly drop hints to the other person.

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I think my IQ's around 130...I don't the number is that important...I did earn a Stanford degree (by hook and crook). I like to think of myself as an intellectual...There are many subjects I'm clueless about as well as a number of subjects that I proudly have a command of...The "Remembering Everything" headline hooked me here.....I don't remember EveryThinggg , but there's a lot from my life-especially my boyhood that I DO recall....especially names...classmates, neighbors, ballplayers, even politicians and well as details of everyday living.....Some of it is random as though a soul from my past 'pops up out of thin air' A lot of it is mnemonic...I'll read something or hear an ad and I will recall where and when I first encountered that or something similar...My immediate family regards me as the 'recordkeeper' because of my recall...
Yes, i too like intelligent people and that has cost me intimate relationships with women who were abjectly lacking in intellect...I miss those ladies...(Oh, I miss the lovemaking) but my longing for intellectual stimulus and debate runs as deep as my libido does.

People with memories like that also tend to remember bad things especially well because of the impact that those kinds of events have on them emotionally. Unfortunately, it's not like they're choosing to remember those things. It just happens so try not to be offended by it. I hope that your wife also acknowledges your best side and, even when it's not presently showing, sees it inside you.

She tries her best to but it's kindof like being overwhelmed by watching the world news if you know what I mean. Right now she is holding down a full time job and going to nursing school.

I'm not north of 160, but I am firmly in the middle of it. I do not consider myself smart. It is just a number. My wife is north of 160. I must say that she often says something that for her is obvious, but comes off rude. And yes, I still find myself justifying something from 15 years ago. What we call IQ, is more memory recall.

Oh and I have no idea what my IQ is to measure my intellect. I ask myself now, would I want to know? Seems to be similar to how financial I am or not, something else unimportant to me.... So my answer is no, I do not want an intellect rating. Perhaps your wife will be a magnificient benefit in your older years if your own memory fades. Complement each other and celebrate the differences. has hit the nail on the comments to add to that are appreciate what you have, enjoy what you give and be humble for the chance to have all you do.! Wonder how she feels having such an ability of recall.??

People of this caliber don't have social interaction skill. They are difficult to converse with or relate to in any manner. I gather your wife has a high profile job with that level of IQ.
A lot of patience is needed here. Let her know how you feel about situations and that you don't want to be like a person with an ankle bracelet.

"People of this caliber don't have social interaction skill. They are difficult to converse with or relate to in any manner." I respectfully disagree. Interpersonal skills and fluid intelligence are not inversely related.

Twelve you are correct.

I had not seen it that form just going by experience of those who are of higher IQ

I am "of higher IQ," as are at least three good friends that I can recall off the top of my head. We have all discussed this before, this myth of the socially impaired genius. I will admit: As a child, I had a very difficult time relating to other people. They were not specific enough in their wording for me to understand what they wanted. However, by watching others, making an effort to understand where people are coming from, as well as having lived a rough and interesting life, I am now very good with individuals but still rather poor with groups. Of the three others I recall, one is a grumpy misanthrope and the other two are very sociable and skilled at relationships and interpersonal interaction. Perhaps your experience of those with a higher IQ being difficult has to do with the fact that the ones bragging about their scores are just ******** who see themselves as set apart and special. You probably know more high-IQ individuals than you realize, but how would you know if they weren't talking about it?

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<p>She may have a 160+ IQ, but consider that she may also have Aspergers! High IQ people must be vigilant about having a keen awarness of the feelings of people around them and their reactions to them. They must react appropriately to achieve any semblance of normalcy. Consider the characters in the TV show, "The Big Bang Theory".</P><br />
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<p>The challenge of intelligence is to use it wisely. An accurate desc<x>ription for a tactless genius is a bully.</P><br />
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<p>These Mensa candidates need to acknowledge that they will be living amongst people of lesser intelligence for their entire lives. These average IQ people are also the ones that will hire them, be their friends and their family.</P><br />
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<p>Unless they can effectively deal with average IQ people, they may alienate them.</P><br />
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<p>Time for an intervention!</P>

Now I do feel bullied at times after debates with her

"An accurate description for a tactless genius is a bully." Snap! Very well put.

Thanks. I do know some high IQ people, and fortunately, they get that they need to also have people skills to get along and succeed. I have also dealt with both tactless geniuses and tactless dimwits. I secretly hope to read about them at LOL.

I second the Aspergers possibility. My son has it. He has a ruthless drive for absolute accuracy to the extent that he will upset everyone around him to prove he is right. He nearly alway is - and even if he is wrong he is clever enough to out argue anyone.

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yes I know the problem very well.
The thing is she's not doing it to track you or out of nastiness; human females are just programmed to be vigilant, from stone age and before when they had to watch out for kids safety and their own. And also because she genuinely cares for you, is empathetic about you and worries that you will get in a car crash etc... Her brain has a part of it that is just programmed to track what you are doing. So I suggest get used to it; it's part of the deal, and see it in perspective; there are benefits you get from the deal too...

What IQ test is this? The most standard one peaks at 145. This requires you get every question right in 0 seconds.... and the best actual score is 144.5.<br />
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I know what you mean somewhat. I naturally came with photographic memory and am intensely intellectual, but it has caused more harm than good so I dumb it down massively. It easy to see how it offends people.<br />
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I think as a woman your wife will never need to learn this... no matter how smart she is there is literally no way for her to identify this as an issue without being told, or shown. She might have amazing mental faculties, but if you talk to her about the problem, at least she has a chance of knowing about it and turning them to solving it. :)

There are special IQ tests for those over 140 or so. As you say most standard IQ tests don't go that high. I think many researchers say that IQ's of over 200 are meaningless. People may have specific areas their intelligence works in, and others they aren't as good at. There are very very very few people who are generalists and have IQs over 140.

Huh! It's funny that she's like that. Most of the people I know with very high IQs are not outwardly focused enough to attend to that sort of thing. You should feel special that she pays so much attention to you. I think that once you reach a certain level, differences in IQ cease to matter much. Either someone is intelligent enough to converse with you or they're not. If they are and they still don't understand what you're talking about, you're being abstruse and difficult, so tone it down. You're damn well smart enough.