My wife and I were in a large grocery store when we began to argue. My wife got really mad and told me to stand still in the aisle and don't move. We were in the baking aisle so she began taking things off the shelves. A spatula, a large ready made pie crust, and 4 plastic containers of white frosting. She uncovered the pie crust and opened the frosting containers. We continued our argument while she used the spatula to empty 3 of the containers into the pie crust. A small crowd of about 10 people had gathered to watch us as we argued. Then, my wife looked at her watch and loudly said, " I don't have time to argue with you!" My wife picked up the large frosting pie, placed her right hand behind my head for support, then smushed the pie into my face with her left!! She removed the empty pie tin and stepped back to admire what she had done to me. I just stood there totally humiliated! I couldn't see. I couldn't speak. The thick, gooey mass of pie crust and frosting felt like it weighed 10 pounds. I knew people were staring at me. My wife wasn't finished with me. She took the remaining container of white frosting and used the spatula to empty it down the front of my shorts. I heard laughter when she did this to me. Then, she used her hand on the outside of my sweatpants to massage the frosting against my genitals. It felt cold. My wife angrily walked away and left me standing there, a gooey mess! For at least 1-2 minutes, no one would help me. Finally two women guided me thru the store to the men's room so I could try to clean up. Every one in the store got to stare at me. Many people took pictures of me. I had to pay for the spatula, the frosting and the pie crust. I said that I didn't want my wife to get in any trouble and the store agreed. It just so happened that a photographer from our local community newspaper was in the store shopping. She had her camera and took a picture of me standing in the aisle with the pie smushed in my face. She never got our names and no one could have possibly recognized me, even my own mother. The picture was published on the front page of the paper and the caption read: "Man loses argument with woman."
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Aug 17, 2014

we ought to see that picture!

I hoped she would use the spatula to paddle your bare *** right there! LOL