************ Is Evil!!

I started ************ as a young man maybe somewhere around the time of elementary school and when I discovered jacking off I was hooked it was something I looked forward to doing it every chance I got being alone was something I looked forward to just so I could beat off. Normal it's what young boys and girls do in fact everyone does it that's what you hear and feel when u begin seeking for answers because that what u want to hear u don't want anyone telling you it's a sin or its bad because it feels good what do they know. Skipping threw the years I became more addicted to ************ I would be at school waiting to get home and pop in my fathers **** tapes I discovered snooping around one day I began to notice that this behavior was not me something inside was controlling me I wouldn't figure it out until years later. As a young man who was a frequent masterbator I began to realize how I looked at women and I looked at them like meat I figured they where not beautiful or desire able because they didn't fit my physical or sexual preference which led me to not really having any successful relationships which led me to totally being antisocial. I *********** mostly when home alone and if I wasn't the only person home I would lock myself in my room or bathroom and have at it weather I had **** or not I just used to love the feeling it had gotten to the point I could vision my perverted thoughts and be cool without **** when jacking off. I began a new journey in life when I discovered I had a gift musically in doing so I also began looking into the true history of the world and how satan has been trying so hard at ruining Gods greatest creation Man/Women. Now I have always been a believer in the word of Christ but never felt that ************ was a sin or wrong in any kind of way, but around this time I started feeling a little different. I began to notice my urges increase and feel totally out of control of my body I would notice at times I would try to relax and make some music or want to get out the house and do something this urge would come over me and I would spend the next few hrs. ************ feeling traped in a world of lust and guilty after I busted a nut then I would spend the next few hrs. or minutes trying to convince myself it's normal but I no longer felt normal. Now around this time I was spending multiple hrs. a day in my bathroom jacking off, my bathroom is mostly tile all around I was in there one day doing my thing when I glanced at a piece of tile and swore I saw the face of a women watching me this really creeped me out but being so caught up in the lustily world my mind was in I then tried to convince myself I saw nothing it was all in my head. As much as I wanted to think I was going crazy I wasn't God was opening my eyes, I later began to see more faces sets of eyes ex. some look like regular people some very evil and demonic now you would think I would have stopped ************ or moved but i was trapped in the lust and desire for flesh the urges just got stronger and I began to lose faith and say to myself " I can't help it I'm just perverted" just like the devil wanted I could remember times I swear I saw images of Jesus on the walls but they would soon become blind to my eyes as I would began to see more evil demonis figures or sets of eyes watching me. I saw a image a new image one day that got me really considering stopping for good and it was dead smack in my face and shocked me I didn't see it before anythingelse but I saw a image of a hand stroking a penis and that penis was mine looked just like it...I said this cant be and like the devil does he convinced me to keep ******* off and had me believing I was seeing things in my head and that those images weren't there, yet I looked at them everyday while in the act. Around that time I got closer to God and asked for help to fight these urges because I new I was doing the devils work and wanted free from ************. It would turn out to be the biggest fight of my life I could sense that whatever was watching me in that bathroom did not want me leaving I would have times I would start jacking of then stop because of guilt, stop for a day or two then be back at it. I really began to worry because I wouldn't feel right I didn't feel like I was ************ I felt like I was being controlled by something and it made me **********. I would look at the image of the hand ******* off the penis and began to notice a small face under the penis the face looked sad and worried and was facing downward as if it were falling I new it was me and I was scared. I really began to fight these urges and was getting beat down. Let me take you back to when I started seeing the images there was one image of an eye on a piece of tile on the floor this eye looked very evil and scared me more than any of the other images, it botherd me so much I got somthing and scratched it away, cool I thought now I don't have to beat off with that looking at me but there were still other images everywhere. It was a trip because I could look rite at them but once I started ******* off I would be in that world of lust and didn't care what was watching me until that eye I scratched away reapered on the same piece of tile I was shook and pleaded with God to free me from this because I was now convinced this was a sinful act and I was going straight to hell my eyes were open I began to feel like **** after ************ there was no pleasure in it at all. One day I looked at the tile with the evil eye witch was in the lower right hand corner of the tile and I looked to the upper right corner and saw another face nothing like the other ones I see this face hade power and authority written all over it and this faces eyes were the only eyes not watching me they were looking at that lower right hand corner and watching what was watching me. It didn't take long to realize that was God or an angel but somthing "was" is looking after me. My spirit then lead me to a you tube video of a girl who said Jesus had shown her hell and told her to draw what she saw for she was an artist, her drawings sent chills up my spine and they were images of people off all walks of life caught in sin from all kinds but she had shown a set of images that related to my sin and it was and picture or tormented souls that were in love with sex and ************ and acts of lust "fornication". As I said I have always been a believer in The Lord but after this I gave my life to The Lord and asked him to come in and take over because I couldn't do it without him. I realized that like the people in her images they were all aware and given time to repent and make changes in their life but they kept sinning...I would have been a fool to keep denying what I was seeing and stayed in the sin because God was showing me day in and day out that I was making the wrong dessision. Haven't *********** sense Jesus is the way the truth and the light God knows we have sexual urges that's why he made women for men and men for women but not just for sex for love for a best friend companionship children the next generations to come depend on us as much as we will depend on them I won't start preaching for I am nobody talk to Jesus open that bible the proofs in the pudding my story is real no lies God saved my life and weather u want to agree ************ is sin PLEASE STOP!!! Get on the hunt for your soul mate for our souls are to precious to put in satans hands Praise The Lord and repent ask for forgiveness and I promise you he will come threw and change your life. Everyday I shower or take sh!t I have to look at those faces but The Lord gave me the strength to overcome SO IF U R JACKING OFF/ FINGERING YOURSELF WHATEVER JUST KNOW YOUR BIENG WATCHED FROM UPSTAIRS AND DOWN!!!!!
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 23, 2013