I Love Him So Much It Hurts..

My cousin and I have always been in love ..
We hated each other when we were kids, yet we couldn't be apart from each other. My mom always told me that we would ask for each other all the time, and when we were together one of us would end up crying. He confessed that he loved me when he was 16 and i was 14. I always knew there was something more, but i always ignored it. Then in 2008 we got together and had a relationship for 2 years, until one day he told me that we should take our separate ways. It's been 5 years and i'm still not over him..It's like i love him more and more each day..Our families are very close and although we are not together i know that he loves me by the way he looks and touches me. It's weird ..sometimes i feel like we are meant to be and that in our past lives we were lovers, that's why we are in love now..haha yes i know it sounds crazy, but i have no other explanation onto these deep feelings i feel for him....he's just so perfect for me, everything i need and want in someone, it's him<3

The thing is i don't know if he still loves me, and i feel like i'm going crazy without him :/ I love him with all my heart, but how would i know if he still loves me too?
J05209 J05209
22-25, F
3 Responses Nov 28, 2012

If after a long separation, even a FORCED separation (by his choice) you are still obsessed with him, then it seems obvious that nothing will put you off of pursuing him until YOU lose interest.
And i will tell you that it is NOT crazy at all to believe that you were connected somehow in a former life. There is so little we understand in that realm. When I was on a national tour with a theatre company (I was an actor and the Master Electrician), we were booked to perform at a High School in upstate new York. As Master Electrician, I would routinely be among the first of the company to interact with the "locals" to begin setting up the show. I was greeted upon my arrival by a young girl half my age who was serving as the school's tech director. You must believe me that at the very first sight of each other, we were instantly drawn to each other in the strongest possible way. We KNEW each other, somehow. And we both KNEW we knew each other, although we had never met before. That night, after the performance, I was invited back to her family's home for the evening, and we literally slept in each others' arms the whole night. No, we didn't make love (that night;-), but we were so comfortable, we felt so loved and in love with each other, that there was no pressure, no awkwardness, no unspoken fears, nothing in reserve or hidden. We were completely relaxed and happy to have found each other -- again.
We soon began having sex, for as long as I was in the area. I rented a car so the tour bus could return to NYC without me, and i would drive back after a week of loving her. We were incredibly, deeply in love with each other, but not as if we'd burn out. We felt supremely at home in each others' arms and bodies. Over the years, she would often come to visit me wherever I was working around the country. Separation never diminished what we felt for each other, but we were mystified how we had BOTH felt the same sense of instant familiarity.
After a number of years as lovers on the most intimate of levels, we finally figured it out -- we had been brother and sister in a former life. This realization cleared up so many things we had been feeling, and immediately the truth of our relationship became clear as day. She has been my devoted sister ever since, and I am equally devoted to her -- as a her brother.

You may, in fact, have been related to each other in a former life, but you have to deal with your overwhelming passion for him in this one, of course. I would think that you can ease off the pressure on the relationship, and simply trust that it will eventually take the course you desire. In time, YOUR desire may change, or he will come to understand how important he is to you, and how important he finally realizes you are to him.
In any event, keep up the communication with him -- with respect, compassion, love, and above all, patience.
Good Luck.

I too had a certain kinda relationship with my cousin. But, now, it's been sometime (long time) since we talked and interacted with each other properly. It maybe that he's moving on and does realize that there's no future (yes, at least in my place, this is certain) to this thing. I can understand my cousins' feelings and I don't want to find out if he still likes me coz I naturally can't do anything about it.
And yes, thank you, experience project for giving me this platform to express my feelings.

Support what dramahater said.
I don't have much experience (read: zero) in relationships, but from what I've read about and heard, you just need to tell him how you feel. Maybe it would help if you wrote it out beforehand, and figure out how to state what you feel as clearly as possible - anything that will make you feel more confident! Maybe he feels the same way, maybe he doesn't, but anything is better than winding up years later wondering about the one that got away.
Best of luck, honey.

Yeah that's a good idea. That's true :/ it's better to ask and to know than to live with the regret that i never asked ...Thank u for ur advice it really helped!!