Wife Not Flirting But I Want Her To.

I have become obsessed with my wife being appealing to other men, not necessarily to go through with an outside relationship but go far enough at least to turn me on.  She frankly doesn't know how.  A former Miss America candidate, she is so pure....think Esther Williams...that even though she is beautiful, she simply does not seem to appeal to the baser instincts of other men.  I want her to be a **** in the bedroom, and occasionally she goes a small way in that direction....but not nearly far enough.

I tried to hook her up once with a very close friend....sat in his livingroom with low light, tried talking sex, and when she leaned over to him...don't remember exactly why, possibly to look at an article in a magazine, I actually pushed her head down to his, actually forcing her to kiss him.  Then I disappeared into another room, but where I could see them.  My insane thought at the time was a *********.  Always felt the guy was a virgin, and still think he was, and had been talking with her for some few months about either hooking him up with someone, or for her to sacrifice herself to him for that purpose.  I think she liked the idea at times, but never quite knew how to go about it.  That has been a few years back, and I still bring it up now and then in a passionate moment, reminding her that she could have certainly been the "F" in a "MFM' encounter that night.  Probably should have pushed it further and caused it to happen.  I still want to, instead of simply fantasizing over it.

I would really welcome any advice towards getting her to release her inhibitions and causing her to "play" this game.  She does not drink, or hardly at all.  And I repeat, she is a beautiful gal, nice boobs, nice to talk to....but not all that sexy.  I think men see her initially as too pure to touch.  (But, I should add that she is a willing giver of BJ's, at least to me, or almost any activity in bed that I can think of.  I sometimes think I'd like to drug her into doing something to break through that ice.....and think she may like it too.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for listening.

Twotime Twotime
61-65, M
3 Responses Feb 22, 2010

Well don't drug her!!!! Keep telling her how sexy she is and maybe she'll start believing it and acting the part.

Thanks, Bill. Sounds reasonable. I'm at wits end, and it seems the older we get the more it takes to get us going....or at least that seems to be true in my case. I guess what I'm after is to see her become more "attractive" (again, she is a very beautiful woman) sexually to other guys. Maybe more "approachable" is more properly put. Very difficult to do anything I seem to want to do locally....we've lived her a long time, know a lot of people and it just wouldn't do, reputationwise, to carry on as I'd like. I've thought so often of taking a trip for the purpose, thinking if the ice could be broken it may loosen up things for us in our town. If I were able to satisfy her even weekly, that would be enough....but just difficult to do in my case. Health concerns, probably, but just not easy to get it up anymore. Anyone with any other ideas? Thanks. (This is an excellent site).

Convince her to dress to "thrill" for an evening out! Dinner w/ wine, maybe one cocktail and some dancing. Keep telling her how sexy she looks and how much attention she's getting from the other men!.... Talk her into showing just a bit of skin! But most of all.... work SLOWLY! Good luck with your pursuit! Bill in Va.