Observation From A Younger Girl... And A Question...

Many common themes here. It can work coz it has in so many traditional cultures and even North American Cultures. I would find a way to make it work for love.

Keely, I have dated girls from your age and have heard the same thing, their babies daddy/bf just wants to play games or never come home, spends money on things besides his woman and bills. Even though I have had more than a few ewww and insults from younger ladies most of mine have been positive experiences. I take time to listen to them, spend time with them and their kid (if they have any) and don't waste money on things that are not neccessary, True, I may not quite have the stamina I had at 20 but I just last longer and a little slower! Age is just a number.

You haven't met the right guy. I'm still in my 30s but I like going to clubs and raves and don't mind hanging out with kids younger than me. Of course, I can act childish, but there's a time for that. And there's a lot of times when I just want to stay home, read a book, and have great sex.

Well I guess it really depends on how we are defining older and exactly what the younger person is looking for. There are guys that are older and have completely removed themselves from living life. This typically is what we think of the middle aged guy having a midlife crisis. They may have the finances, but besides that they are lacking in experience in many things, always have and always will. Thus it shouldn't be a surprise that a person like this is not going to bring a lot of experience and as you have seen, would be very receptive to learn.

Then there are older guys that have never stopped living. They are very active and travel to places that tend to attract young people (like Vegas, Miami, Ibiza). It isn't that they are seeking out a younger person, it is that they just happen to cross paths. I think you would fine someone like this more likely to be able to interact with friends and be a relationship that could go beyond the sheets. Obviously this older guy would be attracted to a younger woman because she could keep up with him and fit into his lifestyle.

I feel the last part of your story is true. Each person is different in their own right. I don't think you have met the right one. I don't do weed, but i do have a 360 and really enjoy it. Lol but there will never be relationship where everything is perfect.

Yes it is possible and often it does work, but both parties have to compromise.

You've highlighted all the friction points in a relationship with such a large age range and yes they are real. However, you can have your cake and eat it too. You'd probably find that relationships with younger guys would last about the same amount of time albeit ending for different reasons. Put simply, you just haven't found the right guy yet. NB: Look over here ;) lol.

You've already gotten some good comments and advice. Here are some adders from me. As I have gotten older I have become less interested in the immediate excitement of my partner and more interested in how we get along in our day to day lives. There are so many times when work, kids, other friends, hobbies etc. get in the way of paying total attention to each other. Young and very attractive women are often used to being the center of attention and life being one exciting date after another. That's great initially but it wears off and real life eventually intrudes. Similarly, if the older guy is only attracted to the thrill of a beautiful young woman then it will wear thin. However, it can and often does work. If you embrace the differences and are comfortable around each other and with yourself it can be great. Most of this applies no matter what the ages are. It's just that with a big age difference it gets highlighted and seems to come up sooner. If one loves watching football and the other hates it it can be great if they just feel good being in the same house together rather than feeling upset over not being the center of attention. Again, this applies equally to both people. The older guy can be insecure and too clingy since he may worry she will eventually want someone younger. The woman may feel she lacks the experience to mix around his friends. These feelings cause problems. However, if they just enjoy each other, support each other and make the differences be what makes the other interesting then it can be great. It's about enjoying who each other is and not trying to make them someone they aren't.

The short answer to your question is that it is all about who the guy is and not what group (age, nationality, race, etc.) he belongs to. So,.... it is all about finding the right guy young or old.

It can be done but the problem is the great difference in "frame of reference." You both have to work to understand each others frame of reference. If we can't communicate because we neither make an attempt to understand each others frame of reference then the only thing in common is the obvious...sex! Not to say that sex is not a fun part of this kind of relationship! Lastly it totally depends on the maturity of the younger women and the mental flexibility of the older man. For me, I refuse to get old...I intend to do everything and anything I can to live life to the fullest!!

I bet you won't love this answer. If it is going to work you have to give up the idea that one guy can be your "everything" guy. Young or old, guys are not cut out for that. Honestly, most girls spend a lot of time lying to themselves about feelings you have while in a relationship. Women have one thing and want another, a lor of the time. In a way, that is part of the fun you can have in being a woman, but also the challenge. The good thing about an older guy...He may not really want to be your only sexual partner. He may be smart enough to recognize that though you enjoy what he brings, sometimes you want something only a 20 something can give you. Why do you think one man has to be everything for you?

Girls get a lot more from being "poly" than most realize. Have fun. Right now your youth and beauty are amazingly powerful...they are your "currency". You could also go the other way, and have a 20 something main boyfriend and an older man for respite, joy and satisfaction. You will be amazed by hat you can experience when you open your mind.

There are plenty of vigorous men in their 40s & 50s. I'd say you have not found the right one. add me and let's talk

Maybe date someone younger in his late 20's or early 30's that is mature.Theirs some people that are pretty mature for their age,good luck!! :)

I had a relationship with a 19 yo student and it lasted for 7 months. We both moved on, but during that time it was wonderful. I find that i enjoy the thoughts of a mature young woman.

You haven't met the right guy yet and one that can compromise. That means you need to compromise too. I play video games...all done going to loud clubs where you can't talk and your ears are ringing, was never much of a dancer, However would slow dance with you. Would go to a place that you liked that played music that wasn't blowing out your ears with you and your girlfriends and have a few beers but not get wasted and not every night.. As far as meeting his friends I'm sure after a few times of meeting you and getting to know you they would figure out it was more than sex, So I'm sure that would work itself out and they would enjoy basking in your beauty and attention and find out your down to earth besides being absolutley gorgeous! People are always going to assume you can't control that...so it really doesn't matter..its what you think and feel that matters not them. So it really comes down to compromising in any relationship..

Your last line kind of sums it up. I know guys in their twenties who'd fit the description of a boring social life like the one you're portraying, and i know guys my own age (around 50!) who're checking the gig circuit every day. I have (among others) two little brothers of 30 and 23. When the three (or more) of us go out, we always have a ball. Good luck.

get engaged in his activities and try to encourage him to get in your activities! i completely understand your point as at one point of time i had a girlfriend who was 12 years my junior! we both talked it out and my friends liked her charm and ability to understand and accepted her easily. With her friends i had fun and enjoyed their jokes, they liked my stability and frank joy of being with them. Just talk it out with your partner when you have a mature guy and hopefully things will work out.

Have you considered a cuckold relationship? You could have the older guy for his maturity & stability and a younger boyfriend for the late night activities. You would be surprised at how many older guys would be willing to live this type of relationship (them faithful to you, while you enjoy multiple partners).

sorry i meant when ur 40 hes 60:P

when your 40 hes 80 the question is how long untill u start chasing young meat lol

The truth is that there is always going to be a gap between you and he; first of all men and women are different emotionally so regardless of age there will be things that neither of you understand about the other. The age gap difference is another dimension, you will want to do things that he has already experienced enough of and most likely doesn't want to do any longer or at least as often, the most common thing would be partying etc, an older man has already done that over and over in his youth and is less likely to want to do that as much as you may.

well, to me it sounds like you want a bit of both...for your guy to have those moments of maturity and then those moments of immaturity. Perhaps you should aim for a guy closer to your age who appreciates the vigour, energy and activities of youth but who is also mature beyond his years. Just a thought....

Cool story, Keeley Kool, I liked your probing, and the questions you were raising, and how you were trying to figure it out. I'm an old guy and have no insights,as I always dated someone close to me in age. I think it works once in a great while. I once knew a young guy in his mid 20's married to a woman in her early 50's. When I first met them I thought they were mother and son. But he said he really loved her, and he thought girls his age were more of an immature pain than they were worth, and the older woman really new how to make him happy. I think it takes a younger person who's a little more mature, and an older person with the passion to stay young for it to be a success. And a genuine love would help a lot. Keep writing and good luck on finding the right person.

Yes, it is possible...but as it has been said before, just look for guys that are into the same things that you're into like playing games and smoking pot...also dating is about compromise, and doing things that we don't want to do but do them anyways for the other person because we care about them. Personally I love playing games, and when I can I smoke, but not too often...have been wanting to cosplay but haven't had the time nor the money to do so yet but hope to in the future.

so what kind of games do you like th play ?

im thinking you just haven't meet him yet i myself love playing video games and still going out and enjoy doing things the key is to find the one that has some of the same interest as you do like me for example i wont smoke or be around when someone is smoking pot but have no problem if you do that also the looks you get form his friends wont ever change as most people in this world are narrow minded

I think a 20 something and a 40 or older something can "meet in the middle" That's what dating is about; meeting someone who fits your rough ideal and dating them to see if the rough edges can be polished off or still fit within your framework of the "ideal mate." If they don't then you break up and date the next person that fits your ideal profile.