Like Them Older

I am 20 and cant stand guys my own age i find them imature and not able to offer me what i need (like someone who will be a sholder to cry on when i need it or have a mature convistaion w.).I have found that guys 40+ are the best. I am posting this because i need advice. this guy ik is really nice he is 45 and i like him. fir my birthday he gave me 20 red rosed saying "one for every year u have blessed this planed" (a lil cheesey but cute) then he gave me a sheet of paper compleatly backed out saying "this paper use to be white but i put a black dot on it for every moment u have taken my breath away" the thing is two days later he is compleatly keeping his distance from me and mentions tht he has a date w. someone else. he saw tht i was hurt by this. then 2night when i took him home from work like i do every night when he was getting out he held out his hand for me to shake... i did not wanting 2 b rude but he held on staring in2 my eyes and not letting go. then as i was backing out he ran up 2 my window and kissed me saying that hee nvr ment 2 hurt me and wants 2 c more of me. idk what to do i really like him but dont know if i can look ovr him hurting my like that. advice any1???
broncoskater9 broncoskater9
13 Responses Jul 21, 2010

Thanks ;)

For all of you that said I shouldn't bother w him... u were so right. Two days after sex he calls me saying that he has found someone else. The a$$ used me. I'm mad @ myself for not listing to ppl now I'm hurt. I'm sure that not all older men are dooshes like him but now iim sceptical of all older men and that sucks cause I have always liked them older.

I think he is waiting for you to make the plays, an older guy doesn't want to overstep and do something you are not happy with.<br />
You take the initiative and I think you will be surprised by the results.

Just be careful, that's all I'm saying. He sounds too slick.

the thing to do is nothing . if he wants you he will soon lett you no . say nothing do nothing be cool . you are not a fool tell him . or stupid . stop treating me as if i am . SAY . when he dose want you that is . tell he is a very lucky man to have someone so young . WELL RESPECTED . TRUSTED MATURE GENT . AGE61 YEARS YOUNG . anyone can Email me at

for all nof you saying that he just wants to score we have been out on three dates sence my first post and he as not tried anything their have been good night kisses and makeout secions but never once has he pushed it. and our next date coming up is a ride on his sail boat where he is going to make me dinner.

i am age61 years young . i loved spoiling a younggirl on a night out .

Hi<br />
I'm 42, I had an 18 yr old girlfriend. Todays girls want a more adult male role model. In todays society boys are not taught to be men, they are more like mama's boys who cant make moral choices and decisions and stand by them. They rarely get taught about the consequences of their actions, hence why these girls look for a real man. However this man seems to be scared of what society will think of him having such a young woman in his life. Its OK for a 40 yr old woman to have a 20yr old BF. that makes her a MILF, a 40 yr old man with a 20 yr old GF is a predator. plain and simple. He is going to conform to societies norms and find an older woman to satisfy their moral rules. <br />
However from his heart he feels the need to still be with this girl, in the end I'm sure the younger girl will lose. It is sad that she will, but our society will hound this man and snicker and poke him 'til he conforms. <br />
I know I am speaking form experience, I loved this girl with all my heart and I still do. but my small town refused to understand. but they condone the 43 yr old WOMAN who has a 18 yr old BF.<br />
This man may be telling the truth and stay with you, but I'm almost positive he will succumb to the pressure. Be careful my dear, and live safe. I'm here if you need to talk...

Egirl seems to have some good insight and advice. But a little correction: I didn't say an older man wouldn't pursue a younger woman. I said her age. I mean she is 20, or possibly only 18 (again, not very clear). Either way, she isn't old enough to even drink yet - at least not in the US.<br />
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Plus I would still say that there are always exceptions - as Egirl has clearly stated. It is just in general you want to be careful. And from your description of this guy, I think Egirl has him pegged as well.

He publicly flirts with you at work because he wants everyone to see what a pla<x>yer he is. He sounds like a douche. Invest your heart elsewhere. That said, I disagree that there are no older men that would pursue a younger woman. I was 22 when I met my husband. He was 42. He is a wonderful man. Intelligent, kind, sexy, and faithful. I just think older men who prey on young women who aren't mature are usually looking for sex. If there is no meeting of minds, nothing substantial in common, it just won't last.

wow really i cant believe that i did tht stupid on my part. i hear wht ur saying wants me 2 b the booty call and doesnt want a public relationship... but then y would he hit on me and do all this stuff in public at our common place of work but yea if he just wants a booty call then im not going to give him a second look i want some1 who likes me 4 me and not worried about wht other ppl think

Ok, so you say you are 20, but he gave you 18 red roses - math not working there.<br />
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As for your situation, Sorry, but I think he just wants to hit it. He doesn't probably want it to be public though which is why you are getting the on the off again feelings from him.<br />
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Yes you are correct about us older men in that we have learned more of what women want - and to a young girl it might seem real. But the reality is that it would be very difficult to have any kind of real relationship with someone your age. Any man worth your attention would not be comfortable being in public with someon so young.<br />
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Oh don't get me wrong, there are plenty of older men that would be seen in public with someone so young, I am just not sure these are the men you want to be with long term (just a little creepy).<br />
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So, if you want to hit it with him because you like the company of someone older, just understand that he probably doesn't want the world to know. But he is using "smooth lines" as Esotericgirl says. And be aware that he may not continue after getting it.

It sounds like he's playing games. He's trying out smooth lines on you- never a good indicator of seriousness. Unless he actually takes you out on a date and doesn't try try to score right away, I wouldn't pay him any attention.