Ladies...be Careful. Older Men Can Play You.Don't get me wrong. I like older men. I have from a young age.
But, believe me. Older guys are very capable of manipulating to get their needs met.
I watched one poor younger woman (age difference 22 years between her and the older guy) allow herself to fall for this very sweet, very charming guy. He never would commit to her, but he was not above the mixed signals game. He would help her out with her work, he was a good and gentle lover, he listened to her when she struggled. She was young and naive enough to believe that if she just waited long enough...just showed him that she was always there....he would eventually come around and he would commit to her. She even watched while they went through a 'just friends' phase and he fell in love with another women right in front of her eyes and introduced her to the new woman so they could be friends! She waited it out, it fell apart, and a few months later they were back to friends with benefits arrangement. Finally, he told her that he was never going to be with her in a serious commitment and she finally broke up with him, but as a strategy to get him to finally realize he should be with her. It didn't work. He became actually serious with a women about a decade older then her and told the other woman he was now happy and looking at a long term commitment!
And, I know the guy. He is nice, most of the time. But, men will be men and don't expect even the nicest ones to pass up easy sex from a young woman who will allow him to have his cake and eat it too. In the end, he actually did feel pretty bad and pushed it really really hard that he was absolutely never going to be that for her, and she had to make a choice.
And, this is one of the 'nicer' ones! Plenty of older guys will make flat out false promises. They know how easy it is to manipulate younger women, tell them what they want to hear, use money to impress. Many older guys still have a strong sex drive and aren't above manipulating younger women in ways that older women won't tolerate (many older women have been there, done that, burned too many times to know it is ALL in the actions and never in the words)!
Just be careful. There are some older guys who are serious, but watch out for the warning signs. If he won't see you in the light of day, take you out, or introduce you to his family, he is married. And, he may love the romance with you, but you will be history in a minute if it actually threatens his home life.
If your main activity in seeing each other in spaced out visits is sex and nothing else....he is in it just for the sex.
The older you are yourself, the more equipped you will be to understand your attractions and handle larger age differences. A woman of 20 going out with a forty year old is vastly different from a 40 year old going out with a man in his fifties. The forty year old has enough life experience to know herself, and no matter how mature you are, it takes time for a person to know themselves. (For this reason, I believe it would be ideal if people waited until at LEAST 30 until they made a lifetime commitment).
And, lastly, ignore every one of the creeps on this board who are trolling for younger women in this group. Most are likely married. The others are looking for a hook up. Classy older men don't troll for 20 year olds (or younger!) on message boards!
rosedl 41-45, F 22 Responses 13 Mar 29, 2012