Am I An Old Soul?

I have always preferred the company of older men to those my own age. Perhaps there is something to the saying that "girls mature faster than boys." Perhaps I was simply born an "old soul" and seek out the company of those with whom I feel more of a kinship.  In high school, my male peers were awkward, had ridiculous (if any) senses of humour, and had the objective of either: (a) getting my pants down; or (b) pushing my head down to their pant area. It was laughable and pitiable at the same time.  Poor creatures!  One had to go quite a bit older to find one of the opposite sex to get beyond the silliness of the high school boy.  Most college men were barely beyond these ploys themselves. But there were some. It was as a college freshman that I finally met a men with whom I could share easy, interesting conversations, free of the red-faced fumblings of the high-school and college crowd.  He was my Freshman History Professor, and we shared a love of the period of early 20th century European History that had always fascinated me.   During the second semester of class, he asked if I would like to accompany him into the city for a lecture on WWI by a renowned English Historian.  I, of course, was over the moon. He was kind enough to take me to dinner beforehand at a tiny, candlelit bistro he knew of --a hole in the wall really. But to an 18 year old girl, it seemed a rather nice break from cafeteria food!  We drank a bottle of wine and headed for the lecture which was held in a lovely, small venue at a college in the city.  At the reception following, we actually had a chance to chat with the historian, and to drink more wine.  Afterwards, as we walked towards the parking lot, we held hands. I was giddy with the nights' events, happy just to walk along in the chill of the early spring evening.  About a block before the parking garage, he stopped, turned me around, and took my face in his hands. He told me that he was in love with me. Did I not know?  I was stunned, but thrilled. I was overwhelmed. My entire body tingled.  He took me in his arms and began to kiss my neck. I nearly fell on the pavement.  He took me by the hand, and I somehow (even though i'd lost my voice!) agreed to accompany him to a hotel.

Although I had fooled around with boys before, I had never known what it was like to really be touched in such a way. My body responded to him over and over that night, and we were lovers for many months that followed.  I think of him still, from time to time. And am greatful.

fleurbelle fleurbelle
31-35, F
3 Responses Mar 15, 2010

Hi lingalong,<br />
Thank you for reading my story. So interesting that you have had similar relationships. I look forward to reading of your experiences.<br />

Hi Buddhawannabe,<br />
I am not currently in a relationship.<br />

Fleurbelle: Thank you for telling your story. I think what you experienced is not unusual, though it is not often revealed because of the social and cultural stereotypes with which we must deal. I have had several similar experiences, but of course because I am a man my experiences have been with older women. One was a teacher when I was in high school, one was a woman with whom I went to live following my mother's death to cancer (I was 15 at the time), and one was with a woman twice my age who was a customer of mine on my newspaper route. I married much younger than I and our marriage ended after nearly 10 years. I am not currently in a relationship, but would not rule out an older woman - though at this time in my life I am hoping to find someone a bit younger to whom I can eventually leave my "stuff". Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure it will bring encouragement to others who have found themselves in the same position. Pete