I'm A Woman Who's Inlove With An Older Woman

I have always liked associating with people much older than I. I also have always had feelings for women; especially teachers. So it is no surprise that at this point in my life (24 years old) I am smitten with an ex-lecturer who is now the Chair of my academic department at the college I attend. This "smitteness" has been going on for the past 5 years and seems to have no sign of slowing down. I think of the lady last thing before I go to bed and first thing when I rise in the morning. She is going to be 48 years old next 3 weeks so she's 24 years older than I. But to me she is so sexy, so beautiful, so intelligent, so warm, so caring that I can't help but want her to be more active in my life. I think we could be really happy together if we were in a relationship. I have a boyfriend and I love him to death but if this woman should come and say she wants to be with me in the next second I'm afraid I would leave him instantly. The only thing I'm really happy about in this whole preoccupation/obssession with her is that I've stop displaying that whole kind of stalker behaviour towards her. I used to go see, call, text and email her for no reason. I used to call her late at nite and then hang up the phone when I heard her voice. I used to feel so guilty and worthless after but I don't do it anymore. I'm glad that phase is over...now if I could only forget about her in a romantic regard and just think of her as an ordinary person.
22-25, F
4 Responses Sep 30, 2011

Your BF might enjoy having another woman you both can play with...

if youre ever available again.. do you think you would pursue her? go up to her and tell her how you feel??

Been there and done that even long before I started my current relationship. It's a very complex situation.

In a kind of twisted way your infatuation with her is cute. :)

You really think so OMG but you aren't thae first to say that to me. She's just wonderful :)

Just remember, I said in a TWISTED way! lmao.

i know how u feel ive felt like it for 13yrs! ave never never had contact with this man since ileft the school i dont even know where he is now! i tried everything to move on but i just cannot seem to! i know ill never ever forget him and think i will always hold some love for him but i do need to move onwith my life!! im here if u wanna talk