Is Dating A Younger Man Such A Bad Thing?

I'm a recently divorced 39-year-old woman. While I'm relatively new to the dating scene, I've been trying out all sorts of things that my married self wouldn't have thought possible -- like actually going out and having fun with my girlfriends at bars, dance clubs, etc. And of course, while doing this I've met a few suitors on dating site There's one man in particular that is wonderful: he's caring, kind, has a real job that earns him good money and he is very attractive. There's only one problem: he is only 26! At first, I thought he was in his thirties and I don't really look my age, but I've noticed that once people find out our age difference, they call me a Cougar and make other annoying comments. He says they are just being funny and that he loves spending time with me and I shouldn't care what others think or say about us if we make each other happy. He's also the first one to tell people about the age difference as if he's proud, and prior to being in this position I would've agreed, but now I'm just not sure. I don't like the strange looks or the double standard that comes with dating a younger man, and I don't know if I should break it off or not. Part of me feels like I should just enjoy our time together, and the other says I should let him go to find someone his own age. Please help!
popmomma popmomma
41-45, F
17 Responses Dec 13, 2011

only u know the answer but if it feels good do it how many men date younger women its ok so why should it be different for u ladies

<p>When I was 29 I started with a woman 38. She was so hot! She didn't play the stupid games that girls younger that me did. We had great sex and I loved it. What finally ended the relationship is that she would sometimes treat me like a kid. ARGH! I hated that.<br />
I have a friend my age that has been married to a woman 18 years older than him for 35 years. You deserve a young stud in your life! I SAY KEEP HIM!!!</p>

Dear Popmomma:<br />
I read your experience and I would say run with it but keep your eyes open. He sounds nice, as do you. After all I was reading today where 71 year old Neil Diamond married his 45 year old co-manager. If they can find love and enjoyment that far apart in age, why can't you?

Find out why he's interested in you. If it's all just a status symbol for him, then you should end it. If he's attracted to you because of your maturity, experience, wisdom, bedroom skills, then stick with him.<br />
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Bottom line: people are going to judge you whether or not you're in this relationship with him, so don't let it get to you.

**** his brains out. Suck his **** down your throat. Build his tolerance if it isn't where you need it. Have fun. Young men are soooooo fun. Dress up for him. Ride his face. Man, it's all an experience. I was engaged to my exam who was 15 Years younger. He is still my best friend. Sex was awesome. Good luck.

Even though I said I wasn't judging you. I read what I wrote after I posted it and it seems like I am. Listen, I was just trying to take a different angle on your situation, that's all. I meant no harm! :)

I'm not judging you -- BUT, there's a good possibility that the age-gap could be a deal-breaker at some point. Not that peer pressure should affect your desire to be with him due to the desparity in age, though, that may be a part of it.....let's just say that it's more of a generation gap than anything. Yes, I know that men date and even marry younger women all the time; which is probably a double-standard. HOWEVER, do you really think that overtime he won't ditch you for a younger woman? Again, I know it's not right, or even fair....just as it's not fair for YOU to date a younger man and miss out on a really great man who is your age, or, and I'm not being an ***, a man older than you looking for a younger woman. Just a different perspective to decide. Have fun with your new freedom and have NO regrets! - Cheers!

I believe we call people into our life for our own growth and learning. <br />
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Don't worry about the rights/wrongs/shoulds. Be in your own process and discover what you can through each other. Life is much bigger then the narrow social/cultural 'norms' that everyone walks outside in one way or another. <br />
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Like any relationship, take it slow, see where it leads, don't project, and be honest. And, have some fun with it!

the strange looks you get from other people is called "jealousy". They are just jealousy because you are attractive and you got a hot young guy with you. If I was giving you guy the strange look is because I'm imagining I am him.<br />
Life is short, so live in that happy moment.

How is he in bed? Does he give you great sex or is it the other way around? He is probably interested because he likes you but mainly because you are sexually experienced. You are in your sexual prime thus, you know how to desire and please a man. He on the other hand is harmonily in his prime but not as experienced sexually. I had similar experience at 25 with a gorgeous married woman around 34-35 at the time. I have never experienced such wonderful sex and sexual attraction. I would have lived with her for the rest of my life but, she was married with 3 children. We met in the library when we both were in college, Me after Navy and her wanting to do something with her life. She was bored and was a very talented women in art and in how to please a man she was attracted to. Unfortunately, her husband was a dud in bed.. Enjoy the relationship while it last but do be careful and not fall head over hills in love because one day it will come to an end.

Tell him you want to learn how to give the best head possible. Ask him what his sexual fantasies are and make them come true. He'll hang around.

your conscience knows what is right and what is wrong... there are males who like to be with older females... and hence boast of it... its a very common phenomenon

live your life,be free as long as no harm to you or others,who makes the rules are sometime fearfull people, again life is really to short if u can look in the mirror and be honestly ok,well.......whats the worry,

Enjoy your self and have some fun, life is too short to worry about age differences. I love older women, they are always clean and beautiful and know how to look after themselves.

Dating younger men aint a bad thing if the man's mentality is mature enough. I dated a 42 year old for a whole year and helped her by being there for her emotionally when she was divorcing her cheater husband. I showed maturity and security for her. If one is emotionally strong then he/she can handle their partner as well. I am 27 but mentally I'm 54.

If the dating is just to have a good time, then I think you should continue and enjoy the company. However if you think this might lead into a serious relationship then it's better to think seriously about it.

Keep him if you love being with him if later it don't work out he has plenty of time to find another woman!! His experience with you will be so much more rewarding since you have been so deprived for so long if he is open enough to try things!!