It Was Like An Awakening...

I've been going through some things with my parents recently and it's sort of left me an emotional wreck (in private). I still live at home and commute to school, there's no way I can make enough money to leave and support myself alone.  

I didn't think my boyfriend understood what I was going through but I didn't blame him for it, his parents love him unconditionally and I was happy he didn't understand conditional love.  But turns out that this lack of understanding conditional love set him on 'worried mode.'  I have no idea how long he was worried before he finally broke down and told me about it. 

His knowing about my previous depression and some suicidal thoughts really didn't help the situation.  But there we were in the car when he started crying and at first I thought "oh no" but then I kept thinking "this guy really does love me." 

By reputation guys tend to be the silent type.  And sometimes it takes quite a bit of prodding to get him to talk so... the tears... really, I think they said to me more than his words ever could've. 

And the strangest part about it I guess... is that I keep replaying his crying in my head... I love its slow progression and how I realized that it was happening... and sort of knew instinctually what to do.  His lips trembling, far off staring (trying to ward away the tears), his eyes finally shutting in defeat... his arms around me... it was all so perfect... except for the car's stupid console in between us. 

debrarose debrarose
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 23, 2009

DhataDsata is right. I was fortunate enough to have been raised in a very open family, in the same state you live in. I am the oldest of 6, 2 more brothers and then 3 sisters. We were brought up to respect all people. The boys were taught in no uncertain terms how to treat a lady and that it is OK for real men to cry. I have not been ashamed to cry in certain circumstances with other guys, females and girlfriends present.