It is important to know that abuse is never your fault. You have never done anything to deserve abuse. The abuser will usually try to blame your behavior for his abusive behavior. They are unable to accept responsibility for there own behavior and even if they do say they are sorry know that the abuse will only get worse and you can not change them.
Even before the abuse starts there are warning signs to be aware of when you first meet them. Is he extremely jealous and tries to control you at the start of your relationship? Does he have drug or alcohol problems? It is a good idea to check with former girlfriends and even his own family situation. If there is abuse in his family that increases his chances of being abusive.
Love can often cause you to over look early warning signs. You need to be honest with your self if you find you are making excuses for his behavior. A rule in self defense is that the earlier you take preventive measures the less severe your preventive measures need to be.
Once you find yourself in an abusive relationship you must take action as soon as possible. The sooner the better!
Make sure a relative or trusted friend(s) know of your problem. Keep a record of all abusive behavior. If you are hurt go to your Doctor or the emergency and make sure you keep a record of any problems. Involve the police if you are injured. Once physical abuse has started it will only get worse. The longer you are in the relationship the more dependent on him you may become, especially if children are involved.
If at all possible get a job and /or start an individual savings account and have statements sent to a trusted friend/relative.
Have an emergence suitcase ready with clothing and important papers that you can get to the moment it is save to leave.
Talk to a divorce lawyer about your all legal rights including self defense. Take self defense classes and be mentally prepared to defend your self t the fullest extent under the law. (Again, it helps to have a record of abuse and/or injuries.)
It is important in all cases of self defense were possible to have a plan set in your mind as to what and how you would best behave to protect your self. Plan on were you will go if you are in danger. Be certain the person you go to will not betray you if your spouse shows up and demands you return to him.
Knowledge is power so it is important that you study all possible information that organizations (Rape Crises, Women Shelters, Salvation Army etc.) can help you with…DD