Without In With Society Within Out Of Myself

Society (whether secular or religious) in general reminds me of children running around the house jumping from one bed to the next pretending to be Super human. I admit there is a charm to see great achievements, tall orders being met, leaps of faith that inspire whole generations, and I guess this is a part of the gift we have with creativity as humans.

But what I see most and observe is quite to a level a bit sad, as though most have lost our way, or perhaps given the insecurity of not knowing we have created systems to such a degree that instead of being meant for freedom and expression we have lent creativity over to mindless bondage to silly illusions. It's as though society has this subliminal message that speaks "you are not good enough as you are, but look! We have the solution to make you better than you".

I had been given over for years to all sorts of material, religious, and the unnecessary expectations of others thinking that if I had enough or measured up enough that all was well, and for a while it was grand. I had things, and people's acceptance and even God. But soon I came to realize it became all too exhausting. I was burning the candle at both ends, not realizing while pleasing others I was forgetting myself. There was a void so deep, nothing at all seemed to quench it. Not until one day I started reflecting upon myself.

This was some scary ****. Never before had I taken a step into myself, to wine and dine in the mind that had so much been suppressed and numbed by the senseless rushing. It was in this moment that I shook hands with myself to not only know, but accept myself apart from the opinion and expectations of others. There were a lot of devils I had to face, but on the other end lie infinite grace. The grace to know I could accept live simply as it was and this was ok!

Of course for me this led to somewhat a solitary life, and although with wife and child, barely see friends or family. Oddly enough I love it! Not so much hearing the criticism of others thinking I am depressed, but the freedom to be myself, and think as myself. The Simplicity of life has granted me grander view that really nothing is everything and everything is nothing......Ya know Mr. Allan Watts?

As I see life in this mystery that I am a part of, no longer does it matter to do something or not, for my value no longer lies in the doing of things, but in the being of life. In all its process we are a part, this life we lead will guide us right back to the start. What we know, we surely do not, for the louder we boast we are still but a dot. So take off your cape, and why not your hat? Common be finished with all that! For in the end what is build will soon fade away, so thus I choose the simple life to count my blessings day by day.
soliare soliare
26-30, M
1 Response May 7, 2012

I understand what you're saying because I've walked my own path since my early 20s. It was difficult to deal with the criticism and rejection of my immediate family, though my life style harmed no one and was "respectable" enough. It was not in the norm for a girl to remain unmarried. In fact I have never married and my brothers have been married over 20 years and have 9 children between them. There was such resentment toward me that before my mom died they claimed all her assets and gutted her will. When I went to see her before she died I was cheerfully told I was not welcome at my own mother's funeral. I lead a solitary life, a simple life. I had to give up the approbation of siblings and family inheritance to live my own way. I don't regret it, but I do deserve more respect than I'll ever receive. I have integrity, yet I'm treated like one who resides in the gutter. It's so odd. I don't understand such vehemence. Have you experience this type of sentiment for choosing your own simple path rather than following society?