"Shopping List" Letters

I had couple of penpals when I was a kid, but then it all died out. Many years later (I'm 25 now) I decided for some reason to take on some snail mail writing again. I have no idea how this thought came to my mind and why then. So now I have many penpals, but the writing is not very often or regular. I'm kinda disappointed b/c the more I write with them, the more I discover how terribly boring they are! I mean, they would list the things they did or where they went day by day or tell me dry what happened without much elaboration or incorporation of feelings and then "Well, that's all for now" finish the letter. I do appreciate their time and effort, but I'm sorry, it's just so not appealing. Maybe it's cool for them and they have other penpals who would "send them their shopping list" and it's fine, but for me it just doesn't work. I only have couple of penpals who would actually reflect on things, voice their opinions and make letters more alive. They would actually make me want to respond!

I'm not blaming blah people. After all, it's my call to write them. I don't like dropping people by not responding anymore, but that would be the only way out, since I can't tell them straight in their face "You bore me to tears". I myself try to be elaborate and interesting and expect it from my friends as well, of course in their own personal way. But I don't want their shopping lists or factual count downs.

Another thing. For some reason, I find snail mail penpalling cute, therefore I make sure I have cute and really pretty stationery, so that my friends would be happy to read my letters. I have colors and glitters and stickers and dust I put in envelopes, that embellish it all. Here come expectations again, but unsatisfied, since none of my friends (except one) invest much in the look of their letters or envelopes. It really doesn't cost much money, believe me I know & I'm very short on cash. I guess it's about the effort that people don't feel like investing. Or they just lack minimal creativity.

Anyone else has similar dilemmas or no one really cares but me?

misasja misasja
26-30, F
5 Responses Jul 13, 2007

im kinda like that in a way id like to learn how to make letters more interesting ive ran out of questions to ask my penpal friends so does anyone have any ideas? or advice to help me?

I'm don't bore You when I write do I?

I totally agree with you! I have had penpals since the age of 11 and also swap stationary and deco friendship books. I did end up dropping boring people like those you mention, who write out their shopping lists in letters or the list of stuff they got for Xmas or whatever. If you ever fancy someone else to write to/swap with.. let Me know!

Of course, if they knew they were boring, they'd change something. I AM a straightforward person, but not to that extent as to tell them "Stop listing things, you're sound boring and put me to sleep!" <br />
I do ask questions, I mean, that's a good way to keep the conversation going. But through those questions they keep listing: On Monday I went... On Tuesday I met... On Wednesday I did...<br />
Well, cool, good for you. Anything else you wanna share or? I'm a person and not your records notebook...<br />
I may sound too harsh, but in reality I'm a very patient and good-natured person. The only reason I'm losing it is b/c I'm fed up after a long and heavy experience.<br />
So I apologize if that hurt someone's feelings...

Maybe some people just don't know how boring they sound, and think that giving more details would bore you more. It is hard sometimes to walk the line between so little information that there is nothing to care about, and so much information that the wall of text isn't worth reading. Maybe asking specific questions about things they mention in their letters will draw them out. I hope you can find a way to get more satisfaction from the letters :-)