Everything Certainly Matters.

Everything from an untied shoelace to a governmental building explosion has a profound affect on the ultimate outcome of fate. The butterfly affect is what I mean. My life has sucked. I hate most of the time what has happend to me from the death of my father, to the alienation I experience on a daily basis, to the stupid inconsiderate things I say to people I try to show I care about.  There is nothing that is insignifigant, and I do not believe there is such thing as a coincidence. Things happen, and they happen for a reason. Everything is complicated and that is how it should be; it will and allways was that way. I am seventeen and my body is scared and pale, my mother is pill addicted, my four sisters are living with another family, I come home to a lonely house each and everyday, and I couldn't understand why God would treat me this way. But my theory is that everyone eventually is shat on (metaphorically) by lifes big brown *******. Everything is interconnected, hence, has purpose. A person stubs their toe for a reason, a person gets a splinter for a reason, a person wins the lottery for a reason it is all a path to enlightenment and understanding. Without pain, no one would be able to relate with each other. With all I've been through, I can now relate with various people in down-and-out situations. Would I trade all the pain and suffering, alienation and humiliation, anger and contempt for an easy existence? No. I enjoy suffering. Call me a masochist: I don't care. Come on life, gimme your worst.