when i drink im more comfortable with myself. im more calm and collected. im more mature acting. i am quieter and happier. i act sober.

all of the biggest mistakes i make happen when im completely sober. im always agitated. i go crazy and dance around. i laugh hysterically at nothing. i act drunk.




------jan. 04, 2008

i believe i am an alcoholic, because when i ge tangry and sad and need to relaz i take a gulp out of my bottle of jack, and everythings ok, and im comfortable in my own skin again. and nothing matters. and the same thing with ciggarettes. but i dont really care. ill do what makes me happy. and ill stop when it affects others. id never get drunk in front of my kids and have them carry me to a hotel room, while i laugh and yell about everything. like my mom did to me and my brother.



----Nov. 15, 2009

so that bottle of jack ^ is long long gone. i switched over to smoking pot excessively but now i only smoke once in a blue moon. im going back to drinking, but still i rarely do that. i feel like ive come full circle again and the things i did in situations back then i am able to change for my new life. not to say im a totally new person but im trying to balance myself out. there are things i will never do again, things i cant wait to try and things i do very carefully.
 But i still enjoy the way alcohol makes me feel. i know how to gain the perfect drunken state-where i stumble and slur a few words and i tend to forget wherever i am. but i dont sleep with anyone or throw up and pass out. it took me a while but i understand what "drinking responsibly" truly is.

kimosabi kimosabi
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 11, 2007

Here,here!! Although I make it a rule to never drink before six pm unless it is something special. I actually love the taste of beer,which to me is strange since I am female. It totally relaxes me at the end of the day.Matter of fact I am sitting here typing to you with a tallboy by my side!! =) Peace J